Dave Matthews Fan Club

Good man sir

LOL

It was the Summer of 1998.  Goldberg was winning the WCW heavyweight championship from Hulk Hogan, Mick Foley was getting chucked off the top of Hell in a Cell, and a twenty-year-old Drop In made the voyage to Riverport Amphitheater for a Dave Matthews concert.  I drove down with some Chicago Area friends from college, meeting up with our St. Louis area people.  There's eight of us in total going to the concert.  Four seats in lawn, four actual seats.  We agreed to ticket exchange a couple times to get different experiences.  Never smart, but we'll get back to that.  

We got to the hotel around 1 PM, having left around 8 AM.  One of us was 21, which meant he had to buy about five cases of beer.  We hung out in the room, shared stories from the summer, and got hammered.  We decided to leave well before the concert started to take in the sights of the area.  Also known as stare and hit on girls going to the concert.  But we were all probably at least nine deep before we left.  We made a pact before leaving.  Since six of the eight were underage, and we all would be drinking at the concert, no underage drinkers would say a word to security if captured.  Away we go.  

Being drunken idiots, we took WAY too much advantage of the access to the entire seating area.  I'm sitting in the lawn, and I see my friend Shaun get pinched.  A couple of my friends come running up, asking if I saw what happened.  Yes, I did.  I could let Shaun get out of this on his own.  But I'm not that guy, and I was hammered.  I wait about fifteen minutes, hand over my fake ID, and head to security.  There's my friend Shaun sitting in a makeshift cage, and you can tell they're pissed at him.  I ask the main security guard why they have detained my friend.  They say he's in on suspicion of underage drinking.  "He won't talk and won't give us ID!"  I chuckle, and ask if he can just come with me now.  The guard looked curious, and asked why he would do that.  I asked him if he was kidding.  Still perplexed, he said no, and now he wanted my identification.  I told him I wasn't giving him shit, and they must be the dumbest group of security ever, and that's saying something.  He told me he was going to give me one last chance to explain myself and give him ID.  I told him I wasn't doing either, and started asking if I really needed to point out why he should be let go.  The 6'4ish security guard grabs me by the throat and collar, and starts pushing me down a ramp telling me he's going to kick the shit out of me. 

Now that we're far enough distance away, I tell him to get his fucking hands off me.  I did a swim move off tackle to get out of the hold, and told him I couldn't believe he was going to make me say it in front of my friend.  WHAT, he asks.  You really don't get it?  My friend is mentally challenged.  HUH?  I used a term I never use these days, but I said "ARE YOU STUPID, HE'S F'ING *RET***ED!!"  "So not only did you just assault me, but you held a mentally challenged person against their will!"  "Now go let my fucking friend out of that fucking cage before you're all under arrest and I sue your ass!"  

Hop to about nine seconds later, my friend is being let out of holding, and we're both offered apologies.  I said "you can stuff your sorrys in a sack" (we were all HUGE Seinfeld fans) and walked away.  My friend is befuddled, about to ask what happened.  I lightly tell him to shut the F up and keep walking.  We get to the lawn, we both had a beer waiting.  Nobody was going to say anything at that point.  Shaun, the good news is you're out of trouble.  The bad news is they actually believed you were mentally challenged.  

All in all, great trip and concert.  I'd love to say I don't have the balls to do something like that at my age, but I still have the chops.  Knowing how offensive that could be these days, I would go another route.  But the twenty-year-old me still laughs about it.  

And while that entire process was going on, DMB was still playing the same song.

Awesome story 

This reminds me of weekend I went to the Jimmy Page/Black Crowes and The Who 2 day concert at Tweeter center or whatever its called now. I think I was actually 21. We just loaded our coats with tons of bottles of beer......because we were dumbasses and didn't get cans.....and we didn't have an opener. Opening the bottles on every available hard surface was a thing. It was raining so damn hard no one really cared what we were doing. At the end of the show a giant brawl broke out on the hill and engulfed me and a few others in our group like a tornado. There was no where we could go. Some asshole grabbed me and ripped my awesome necklace off. He got the shit kicked out of him by a herd of people as the brawl rolled on down the hill. I ran into Dennis Miller at the concession stand and had to tell him good luck with his new MNF gig. I'm sure he and his kid appreciated my drunk ass bothering him on his nacho run.

Dennis Miller was one of my favorite people on the planet when he had the HBO show.  It didn't go so well after that point. 

Reviving this thread because I just bought tickets to a show today. Have super rad tickets & haven't been to a show in 4 years. Everyone I went to concerts with started having babies. Booooooo!!

Plus this is the first non-Alpine show I've been to since 2006, so while I miss Alpine, I hate standing on that giant hill for hours.

Happy to have seats. First row in the lower bowl!

Don't day things you can't take back.

Welp, tickets were around $75 a piece, if you're wondering what to charge for a dick in the ear.

Actually $85 with the service charge.

That's for the Dave Matthews concert stuff.  Dick in the ear?  I'll allow it.

I will defend randomone all day long. But nobody can hear me because they're listening to that deafening metal shit.