Post by Danny Busch on Feb 19, 2015 15:00:13 GMT -6
Music: 6.8/10
Dave Matthews is an evil genius who manages to combine elements from several of music’s most grating genres like jam rock, jazz fusion, folk, and bluegrass to create a supershitty mutant genre. He has written the same song over 100 times and takes an improvisational approach to performing them live. Either that or he is just making this shit up as he goes along because, really, who’s gonna notice?
Appearance: 2.4/10
At least aesthetically, Dave is pretty harmless. He kinda just looks like the dude who whips out the acoustic guitar on camping trips and plays “Champagne Supernova.” Nobody likes that guy and his name is usually Josh. But still, at least he doesn't rock a perma-fedora like fellow boring laid-back jammer, Jason Mraz.
Behavior: 3.6/10
Aside from being a rumored coke head, Dave has maintained a pretty upstanding public life. If nothing else, he has been a vocal advocate for gay rights and climate change research, which is good since his fans definitely come off as Republican hippies. Otherwise, when do you ever hear about Dave Matthews in the news aside from when he’s hitching rides from fans to his shows?
Fanbase: 7.8/10
Dave Matthews Band fans are like Phish fans for people in college. Which is to say, they are an insufferable cult of hippies united by their common misguided belief that they have good taste in music. Most people get into DMB in college and then make it a shitty lifestyle choice forever. “Daveheads,” with their popped collars and hats with pre-worn bills, will go far as to list “Dave” as a musical genre. As in, “Oh, I listen to some grunge, some hip-hop, Dave, of course. Anyway, there’s a sale on cargo shorts. Gotta run.”
This was a review from somewhere but it should be read as gospel.
Dave Matthews is an evil genius who manages to combine elements from several of music’s most grating genres like jam rock, jazz fusion, folk, and bluegrass to create a supershitty mutant genre. He has written the same song over 100 times and takes an improvisational approach to performing them live. Either that or he is just making this shit up as he goes along because, really, who’s gonna notice?
Appearance: 2.4/10
At least aesthetically, Dave is pretty harmless. He kinda just looks like the dude who whips out the acoustic guitar on camping trips and plays “Champagne Supernova.” Nobody likes that guy and his name is usually Josh. But still, at least he doesn't rock a perma-fedora like fellow boring laid-back jammer, Jason Mraz.
Behavior: 3.6/10
Aside from being a rumored coke head, Dave has maintained a pretty upstanding public life. If nothing else, he has been a vocal advocate for gay rights and climate change research, which is good since his fans definitely come off as Republican hippies. Otherwise, when do you ever hear about Dave Matthews in the news aside from when he’s hitching rides from fans to his shows?
Fanbase: 7.8/10
Dave Matthews Band fans are like Phish fans for people in college. Which is to say, they are an insufferable cult of hippies united by their common misguided belief that they have good taste in music. Most people get into DMB in college and then make it a shitty lifestyle choice forever. “Daveheads,” with their popped collars and hats with pre-worn bills, will go far as to list “Dave” as a musical genre. As in, “Oh, I listen to some grunge, some hip-hop, Dave, of course. Anyway, there’s a sale on cargo shorts. Gotta run.”
This was a review from somewhere but it should be read as gospel.
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