WWE Network Presents Battleground

Nonsense is my new favorite word.  I've been using it constantly and embracing it.  

If I was booking the show tonight based on the card we've been dealt.

Kickoff Pre-show

The Usos vs. Tyler Breeze and Fandango
- Uso's win here as I just don't see anything other than the Breeze and Fandango team being jobbers.

So what match do you open with? I just don't see one here that clearly presents itself.

WWE Intercontinental Title Match

Darren Young with Bob Backlund vs. The Miz with Maryse

- I'd open with this match due to the crowd reaction that Miz can get and the over the top energy Backlund brings. I know no one likes Young's gimmick. I actually don't completely hate it - and I'm not a Backlund fan whatsoever. I'd have Young win here and re-match this title match on a Raw/Smackdown. I'm way too lazy to see who is on which show right now.

Sasha Banks and a Mystery Partner vs. Dana Brooke and WWE Women's Champion Charlotte
- I'm sorry. No one cares about Tits Bella. You can't have her be the mystery partner. Plus it doesn't make any sense for Sasha's character to think Bella belongs in the ring with her. I know this will not happen, but fuck it - Lita is the mystery partner. Sasha in the ring way more. Lita gets a few spots in. Team Sasha wins setting up the title match at Summerslam.

WWE United States Title Match

Zack Ryder vs. Rusev with Lana
- Honestly? Rusev crush. In like 5 minutes.

The Wyatt Family vs. WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day
I would make this the most insane match and give these guys 20 minutes to go nuts. Think Evolution vs The Shield from a couple years back. Use the entire arena. Multiple fights going on at once. I'm not sure the rules in this and I'm also not sure the status of Luke Harper, but this ends with Luke Harper showing up and putting a hurting on the New Day. I have the Wyatts win here to re-establish this stable...but they've been split up due to the draft huh? Ugh. I don't get it.

Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
- KO wins. Please do something meaningful with this guy already.

The Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho and Randy Orton
- Does Brock show up? I have no idea what we could get out of this that would be interesting. Randy's mic skills aren't exactly his strengths. Paul Heyman? I've got nothing guys. I hate this segment is on a PPV.

John Cena, Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. AJ Styles, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson
- Balor shows up here, so disregard the Luke Harper comment from before. Can't book the same thing. The Club wins...I would hope?

Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
- I don't care. Becky.

Triple Threat for the WWE Title
Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose
- Seth or heel Roman Reigns (Stephanie's plan B). 

Usos already lost. I definitely see a heel turn for one of them coming. Maybe not soon, but eventually. Breezango is the 2nd best team on Smackdown aside from American Alpha. I'm dead serious about that.

Woodridge, I like the idea of Roman being Stephs Plan B. I kno there's a Plan B joke there, but I'm too sophisticated to make it.

Love the Sasha/Lita idea

Don't think Lita comes back on a random (one) ppv. She is a Mania return.

I'll be with you guys in a moment. I'm tearing up like a baby watching this Make-a-Wish segment on 60 Minutes.

It's Bayley.

The inflatable guys are hidden.

Glorious.

It will now be referred to as "The Bayley Pop!" Screw you Road Warriors!

Late Night Burrito is making that leather do work.

That was entertaining. Good start.

The look on Sasha's face when she heard the Bayley chants was amazing.

This match seems early to me.

Seems like they're front and back loading the card.

Kind of like a Raw.