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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 7:32:43 GMT -6
there were some banning issues....speeps, care to elaborate? Were you banned while you were gone?
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 7:59:55 GMT -6
kirkwood had to pay for his Sox trolling elsewhere.
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 8:23:27 GMT -6
Yes and Speeps snipped me for unloading on the Sox
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 8:25:34 GMT -6
Yes and Speeps snipped me for unloading on the Sox Yeah, well we had a meeting while you were on your European excursion, and we thought that would be in our best interest.
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 8:46:28 GMT -6
So my buddy and I arrive in Amsterdam’s airport from Dublin on Sunday afternoon. While waiting for our luggage we are both unleashing the unholiest of beer farts on our fellow waiting passengers. When we got our luggage we met up with my buddy’s brother who flew in from Chicago to meet up for the week. He greeted us with toxic airline food ass rips as well. We knew this traveling partnership was going to be great. We check into our hotel and begin waltzing the maze of Amsterdam streets and alleys. Marijuana is neither of our cups of tea. You had 3 “squares” in Pothead Paradise before legalization occurred in Colorado and Washington. We decided to partake because “When in Rome” right? None of us wanted to smoke but edibles sounded like the perfect way to dip a toe. After 5 hours of crawling around bars we decided let’s buy some brownies. My buddy said he saw a coffee shop that had a fantastic looking spread in its in window. He didn’t remember where but if we retraced our steps we surely would find the shop. So in our buzzed states we begin our trek to find the magic coffee shop. Imagine a maze where you start from the beginning and it takes 30 minutes to complete. Well, if we started from the “end” it would’ve only taken us 5 minutes. Woops. Fine, we find the place, walk in and see no great pastry case of edibles. WTF, we weren’t drunk (yet) when we passed this location. What was my buddy talking about? Well, standing outside pondering our next move I glance at the front window and notice the reflection of the bakery across of the street onto the front window of the coffee shop!!! You stupid fuck!!! We tell him his dumbass mistake and everyone from people drinking/smoking on patio to people walking by and ourselves laugh their asses off. We decide to continue drinking instead and continue our edible expedition the next day after vising Anne Frank House.
So after visiting Anne Frank House we visit a coffee shop I found on the internet that locals consider the best edibles in Amsterdam. We buy a cake and there is a warning that the cake is made with 1 gram and experienced smokers should eat half. Rookies should eat a quarter. We decide to split the cake 3 ways. We begin to walk around Amsterdam and my two companions complain the cake was a bust. Well, on the label it said the cake’s impact would come 2 hours after consumption. We arrive at our hotel to get some items for a trip to Van Gogh Museum. Our arrival was about 2 hours after consumption. Shit went to the fan. I had tried edibles before and was aware of their intensity. Not an expert but knew what to expect. The other two did not and were tweeeaaaking. They were taking shifts doing who the hell knows what. I heard the shower running, the bathtub running, complaints they didn’t to take their 4th shit in a 20 minute span etc. I was just on the fold out bed chilling and enjoying the cake’s effect. After 4-5 hours the cakes effects wore off and they swore to never consume space cake. I laughed to myself and thought how funny the whole episode played out.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 9:04:56 GMT -6
Bravo, I am looking forward to more Kirkwood travel stories but I am not sure they will top that.
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 11:51:54 GMT -6
So we need to drive from Shannon, Ireland to Galway, Ireland which is only an hour drive. However, we will be taking a side trip to see the Cliffs of Moher which are impressive seaside cliffs. You would think driving on the opposite side of the road (steering wheel on the right) with roundabouts (which you take in “reverse”) is the hardest part. Negative. You get the hang of that pretty easily. Yes, you find yourself drifting to the right sometimes and brushing the curb but that’s minor. Driving the country roads of Ireland is a terrifying endeavor. The highway and city roads are fine. The country roads are utterly terrifying. The picture below shows two cars zipping down a country road. Well, that’s a TWO LANE ROAD!!! And it’s not just compact cars that use these country roads. Tour buses must also use these roads. So there is no shoulder, the roads are tight and oftentimes there is a beautiful stone wall to your left. You literally have to close your eyes when a car approaches and hope you didn’t hit the car/bus or didn’t hit the wall/land to the left. Along the walls is ivy or bushes growing which is scraped by the side view mirror. This adds even more anxiety to driving. But I fucking did it and only scraped the “curb” with my tires 3 times. I only turned into the “wrong” lane once and it was on a deserted road thank goodness. Once we arrived at our AirBnB in Galway I parked the car, checked in, and we went straight to the bar. This was around 7ish. So we had maybe 5 minutes of contact with our host. I need a drink ASAP after surviving that shit. Our drinking for the next 5 hours is serious. Irish beer is terrible but we power though courageously. Once my buddy shatters a glass by dropping it I determine its time to go. He makes a wrong turn leaving the bar so I had to physically turn his body the right direction. He is in zombie mode. This is bad. We start walking to find a cab and he totally falls and eats shit. His palms and forearms are all scraped up. We get into a cab and I don’t remember the address but I knew the name of the elementary school 2 minute walk away. Once he drops us off my buddy goes “Dude our luggage! He’s driving off with our luggage!” I am dumbfounded as the luggage is in the AirBnB. But he chases after the cab and opens the trunk (it’s a mini-SUV tailgate). And he’s yelling “Stop! Stop! Our luggage!” I’m like WTF and chase after him and get to the cab. The cab driver comes out and is holding the keys to our AirBnB. My buddy DID think we forgot our luggage not keys. So we got LUCKY he was so bloody and fucked out of his mind that we recovered the keys. Otherwise we would’ve had to sleep in the backyard or something.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 11:56:58 GMT -6
This trip is going just as I had expected.
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 12:12:19 GMT -6
AirBnB sounds confused and douchey.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 12:13:24 GMT -6
AirBnB sounds confused and douchey. Is that the Boers and Bernstein of Europe?
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 12:13:38 GMT -6
AirBnB sounds confused and douchey. Is that the Boers and Bernstein of Europe? That's what I thought.
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 12:15:21 GMT -6
AirBnB sounds confused and douchey. It's a website where you can find beds, rooms, apartments, houses etc to rent out. I didn't want to use BnB because it's not like *that*. The places weren't cute country homes with breakfast served in the morning. The one we rented literally was spare bedroom in a house across the an elementary school.
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 12:19:21 GMT -6
Almost like a hostel.
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All Drop In
Moderator
The Voice of Reason
Posts: 32,489
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Post by All Drop In on Jul 27, 2015 12:25:03 GMT -6
I want to hear the other side of these stories.
"We were freaking out a little bit. A shower seemed like a good idea. But Kirkwood was so stoned, he laid on the bed holding on to the sides for five hours. He thought he was going to fall. It was awesome!"
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 12:42:29 GMT -6
We visited the Amsterdam Zoo because we found ourselves near it when we went exploring. Admission was free because we had bought a 48-hour city card. You got admission into various museums and unlimited public transportation. So we walk in and it was great as you got pretty close to the animals. I don’t think you should’ve gotten as close but, eh, Europeans, whatever.
So we’re in the sea lion exhibit and watching these fuckers floss through the water and my luggage buddy goes, “did you know that only 1 of 1,000 sea lions survive their hatching and reach the ocean.” His brother and I nearly die. Mind, this cat is very smart and starting his MBA program 3 weeks. We both respond….”you mean…sea turtles?” He legitimately thought sea lions. We had to explain sea lions are mammals and give birth. Sea turtles are reptiles and lay eggs. None of us were under of the influence of anything….I think.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 12:51:43 GMT -6
I am guessing you were in a constant haze this trip.
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 12:55:17 GMT -6
I think Kirkwood is just giving us the sequel to "Vacation" he's writing for release in 2018.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 12:57:51 GMT -6
KS, any thoughts on Kirkwood's trip so far?
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 13:00:16 GMT -6
I had at least one alcoholic beverage everyday. I need am not drinking alcoholic for a month. So...much...booze.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 13:01:25 GMT -6
I had at least one alcoholic beverage everyday. I need am not drinking alcoholic for a month. So...much...booze. Pfftt....don't be a quitter.
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 13:07:09 GMT -6
I had at least one alcoholic beverage everyday. I need am not drinking alcoholic for a month. So...much...booze. Sounds like that starts tomorrow?
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Post by Kirkwoodref on Jul 27, 2015 13:14:18 GMT -6
So it’s Saturday and my European trip has ended. I board the plane in Prague to get to my connecting flight in Warsaw. Luckily, I have the 1st row behind business class (which was empty) on a 2x2 seating arrangement plane. I am flying Polish LOT while my friend flying United. I ask the gentleman in probably his 50’s/60’s sitting on the aisle if he could stand up so I can get to my window seat. He understands my comments and responds in English with a Southern accent. Excellent, perhaps I could strike up a conversation during our flight. I ask if he’s flying to Warsaw as a connecting flight home (Warsaw is a big gateway to Eastern Europe). He responds he is not as he’s going to Krakow to explore and visit Auschwitz. He asks what I was doing in Prague and I respond exploring with my buddy. This cat responds he was in Prague searching for a wife!!! He was fucking dead serious. He pulls out his phone and shows the “date” with a tall, slim and pretty Czech girl he took out two nights ago. Rodney (his name) for the next 1.5 hours talks about his journey to find a wife.
He moved from Houston after retiring (he was a night club owner or something) to the border to find a Mexican cutie. However, he said they were all too fat. His next plan was to go to Costa Rica for year and find a Costa Rican Cutie. That plan bombed as well as he said they weren’t his type and too young for him. Soooo, he moved onto Eastern Europe! He uses websites that organize “socials” with other bachelors and women flock to find a “husband” but more like sugar daddy. A Ukrainian chick strung him along for $60K over a year and a half. His plan was to move to her Costa Rica and then eventually the US because getting a visa from Russia/Ukraine is pretty complex. He said he’s moved on from Russia/Ukraine as the women are all too shady and just try to shake you down. He’s moved onto Hungary and Czech Republic! He plans on returning to Prague and proposing a 10-day train trip through Western Europe with the woman went on a date with to see if they’re compatible.
He mentioned to me he was contacted by a British documentary crew to film one of his visits to Russia:
Here you go:
Fast forward to around minute 35 or something. My boy Rodney searching for a wifey.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 13:17:53 GMT -6
I didn't know KS' real name was Rodney.
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Post by Terry's Peeps on Jul 27, 2015 13:46:08 GMT -6
JORR?
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 13:49:29 GMT -6
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Post by Positivity KS on Jul 27, 2015 16:33:18 GMT -6
KS, any thoughts on Kirkwood's trip so far? I liked the marijuana part.
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Post by Hawg Ass on Jul 27, 2015 18:27:07 GMT -6
KS, any thoughts on Kirkwood's trip so far? I liked the marijuana part. Go back to sleep
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