Post by Steely Don on May 5, 2014 12:04:11 GMT -6
Well boys and girls, it's Monday which means all the boys and girls are speeding their ways to Albany to give us another evening of our beloved schlock known colloquially as 'Raw', aka 'Whatever happened to Monday Night Maestro anyway" from the Times Union Center in Albany, New York. The last time they were there was back on 09/24/2012 with a card consisting of:
[DM] Heath Slater defeated Yoshi Tatsu (2:59 minutes)
[DM] Ted DiBiase Jr. defeated Michael McGillicutty (10:28 minutes)
1 Dolph Ziggler defeated Kofi Kingston (10:30 minutes)
2 Prime Time Players [3] (Darren Young and Titus O'Neil) defeated Santino Marella and Zack Ryder (2 minutes)
3 Ryback defeated The Miz (3 minutes)
4 Wade Barrett defeated Tyson Kidd (2:20 minutes)
5 Sheamus, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara defeated Alberto del Río, David Otunga and Ricardo Rodríguez (7:25 minutes)
6 Eve and Beth Phoenix defeated Alicia Fox and Layla (2 minutes)
7 Brodus Clay vs. Tensai ended without a winner as a no contest
[DM] Sheamus defeated CM Punk by disqualification
Can't be that hard to top that show .... right? Right? C'mon, somebody give me something life-affirming ..... and don't talk to me about Adam Rose (despite it being in the thread title) .... I hope the bus goes below 55mph on the way to the arena.
Shit, 24 returns tonight and I don't have a DVR ... you fruits may be on your own later on without my idiot thoughts ... I don't know what that means for any of us.
After his poor showing in a loss last night, Kane closed the show with his pyro ... effective as it may be the harbinger of a future 'Buried Alive' match ... though not nearly as effective as when he called for his pyro during a town hall meeting to burn off the homeless and destitute in the room ...... man, that fucking air conditioner isn't built to handle that kind of stress .......
Our pal Dave Batista is reportedly (wait for it ....... ) ...... unhappy about something. My first guess would be 'wardrobe'
Apparently Bray 'converted' a Cena follower at the PPV (wait, wait, wait, I guess they're not called PPV's anymore .... yeah, changing nomenclature in use for decades always works out well .... thanks WWF, I mean, WWE .......) ... it's not like I watched the thing, even for free ... what does that tell you? No, it doesn't mean I was out molesting small animals, thank you. Anyway, so what? What's the point? Raven-lite is becoming a pseudo-babyface because they have to block Cena out of the title picture .... unless Bray turns him to the Fedora-side and Cena wrestles as a heel against his kinda brother-in-law?!? Maybe? Who knows ... not me ... I just sit here writing this bullshit wondering if I should get up to pee in the middle of it, or wait until I've finished ... this article I mean.
Unrelated ... WGN is running a quickie story about how 'blood from younger people can help stop the aging process' ... that's a fucking Svengoolie movie, not a news story .... who's booking that shit over at WGN anyway?
Bad News not-Brown evicted Big-E Sterling-style from the IC belt, which hasn't meant much since Steve Austin held the belt ... which means the original ECW TV Title has been more relevant more recently than the WWE's IC title ... think about that ... thanks Obama.
It's the 5th of May which means we'll probably have to see ADR do something pointless and say something uninteresting ... maybe his boy will reappear to roll his "R"'s which is about as entertaining a skit as we'll get ... that said, it's time to watch this again and laugh until your jalapeno falls off ... I've replayed the damn thing eight times while writing most of this crap .....
(shut up I know Eddie's dead ... so's Raw most of the time, really)
Other fun and surprises may or may not happen ... Evolution, Stephanie's reduced chest, Mickie Dolenz will not sing I'm a Boliever, DBry will cut a promo about something and probably then get cut off, three-man announcer weave, hopefully Heyman shows up to take a segment (I don't care if he reads the phone book at this point, it's all good), maybe a quick recap of Magnito, otherwise a throwaway night for the most part, which is the story of my life really, so enjoy, and thanks again for not asking how I was doing, jerk.
[DM] Heath Slater defeated Yoshi Tatsu (2:59 minutes)
[DM] Ted DiBiase Jr. defeated Michael McGillicutty (10:28 minutes)
1 Dolph Ziggler defeated Kofi Kingston (10:30 minutes)
2 Prime Time Players [3] (Darren Young and Titus O'Neil) defeated Santino Marella and Zack Ryder (2 minutes)
3 Ryback defeated The Miz (3 minutes)
4 Wade Barrett defeated Tyson Kidd (2:20 minutes)
5 Sheamus, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara defeated Alberto del Río, David Otunga and Ricardo Rodríguez (7:25 minutes)
6 Eve and Beth Phoenix defeated Alicia Fox and Layla (2 minutes)
7 Brodus Clay vs. Tensai ended without a winner as a no contest
[DM] Sheamus defeated CM Punk by disqualification
Can't be that hard to top that show .... right? Right? C'mon, somebody give me something life-affirming ..... and don't talk to me about Adam Rose (despite it being in the thread title) .... I hope the bus goes below 55mph on the way to the arena.
Shit, 24 returns tonight and I don't have a DVR ... you fruits may be on your own later on without my idiot thoughts ... I don't know what that means for any of us.
After his poor showing in a loss last night, Kane closed the show with his pyro ... effective as it may be the harbinger of a future 'Buried Alive' match ... though not nearly as effective as when he called for his pyro during a town hall meeting to burn off the homeless and destitute in the room ...... man, that fucking air conditioner isn't built to handle that kind of stress .......
Our pal Dave Batista is reportedly (wait for it ....... ) ...... unhappy about something. My first guess would be 'wardrobe'
Apparently Bray 'converted' a Cena follower at the PPV (wait, wait, wait, I guess they're not called PPV's anymore .... yeah, changing nomenclature in use for decades always works out well .... thanks WWF, I mean, WWE .......) ... it's not like I watched the thing, even for free ... what does that tell you? No, it doesn't mean I was out molesting small animals, thank you. Anyway, so what? What's the point? Raven-lite is becoming a pseudo-babyface because they have to block Cena out of the title picture .... unless Bray turns him to the Fedora-side and Cena wrestles as a heel against his kinda brother-in-law?!? Maybe? Who knows ... not me ... I just sit here writing this bullshit wondering if I should get up to pee in the middle of it, or wait until I've finished ... this article I mean.
Unrelated ... WGN is running a quickie story about how 'blood from younger people can help stop the aging process' ... that's a fucking Svengoolie movie, not a news story .... who's booking that shit over at WGN anyway?
Bad News not-Brown evicted Big-E Sterling-style from the IC belt, which hasn't meant much since Steve Austin held the belt ... which means the original ECW TV Title has been more relevant more recently than the WWE's IC title ... think about that ... thanks Obama.
It's the 5th of May which means we'll probably have to see ADR do something pointless and say something uninteresting ... maybe his boy will reappear to roll his "R"'s which is about as entertaining a skit as we'll get ... that said, it's time to watch this again and laugh until your jalapeno falls off ... I've replayed the damn thing eight times while writing most of this crap .....
(shut up I know Eddie's dead ... so's Raw most of the time, really)
Other fun and surprises may or may not happen ... Evolution, Stephanie's reduced chest, Mickie Dolenz will not sing I'm a Boliever, DBry will cut a promo about something and probably then get cut off, three-man announcer weave, hopefully Heyman shows up to take a segment (I don't care if he reads the phone book at this point, it's all good), maybe a quick recap of Magnito, otherwise a throwaway night for the most part, which is the story of my life really, so enjoy, and thanks again for not asking how I was doing, jerk.
