The Quarantine Files (Randomone Watches Stuff)

British Bulldog vs. Col. Mustafa
August 5, 1991
What a strange pairing here, as Bulldog got a bodyslam and some clotheslines early as Mustafa bailed to regroup with Slaughter & Adnan. Bulldog got 10 corner punches back inside, but was scolded by the ref for closed fists, as Mustafa got a cheap shot and drove the pointy boot into Bulldog’s head. Long chin lock from Mustafa until Bulldog blocked a suplex into his own suplex. Bulldog went for the powerslam, but Adnan took the ref, Slaughter hooked Bulldog’s leg and Mustafa fell on top of Davey while Slaughter kept the foot for the tainted win. This was awful and Mustafa was on his way to main eventing a PPV a few weeks later, which is insane.

Jake Roberts vs. Typhoon
August 5, 1991
Jake worked an arm bar and got in a few jabs as Typhoon missed some really lame looking swings. Jake must’ve messed up his hand on the punches, as he tells the ref and Typhoon takes over by lowering his head for a back drop. Jake put on the brakes, punted Typhoon in the head for a one count. Typhoon reversed a whip in the corner and got a splash and elbow drop for two. Backbreaker by Typhoon, but Jake got his knees up to avoid another corner splash. Short arm clothesline dropped the big man, but Earthquake ran out from the back to attack and the DQ. Jake escaped the double team, but Typhoon grabbed Lucifer, Jake’s new snake, since Earthquake squashed Damien. He was about to do the same thing when Andre the Giant walked out on crutches. Jake took out Lucifer, as Jimmy Hart & Typhoon bailed with Earthquake in the ring doing the same finally. Andre saving Jake was interesting considering their history and Jake will be turning heel within a week or two. It’s pretty crazy within 2 months, Jake would be supposed to team with these dudes at the Survivor Series, before the Savage snake bite stuff took place and “suspension”.

Koko B. Ware vs. Skinner
September 16, 1991
Koko ducked a shot early, did some strutting and threw Skinner to the floor. Right back inside, Skinner suckered Koko in as he got in and choked him through the ropes. Skinner randomly starts jaw jacking with Frankie the bird and took a fucking SWING AT FRANKINE!! Koko hit an atomic drop, but missed a corner splash, so that comeback lasted 10 seconds. Skinner avoided another corner splash, laughed maniacally and hit the Gator Breaker for the win. Don’t worry Koko; Owen would get revenge for you at Mania next year. Again, the alligator hunter…took a swing…at a parrot.

Bret Hart vs. Hercules – Intercontinental Title Match
September 30, 1991
1/2 of the 1989 2x4's Survivor Series team collides! Herc is juiced out of his skull at this point, as he worked an early headlock take down. Bret tried to fight back, but was driven head first in the corner repeatedly. Bret put on the brakes and got some punches before going to an armbar, which is questionable. Bret hit a diving body block for two, atomic drop, then stomped on the midsection, faking out a Sharpshooter. Slick tried to run distraction, but Bret had it scouted. Herc reversed a corner whip and Bret ate the buckle chest first as he always did. Herc went up top, but took forever and was crotched for his effort. Herc fought back outside, posting Bret, but missed a chair shot against the post and Bret hit a double noggin knocker on Herc & Slick. Back inside, Bret picked the leg and got the Sharpshooter for the win.

Hercules vs. Barbarian
October 7, 1991
Rare heel vs. heel matchup here as Herc got a side headlock and Slick yells that Barb has had enough 10 seconds in, which I laughed at. They do a posedown and Barbarian is getting cheers, as we have a choke off in the corner. Slugfest ensues, Herc ducks a few clotheslines and levels Barb with one of his own. Herc drove Barb in the corner head first 10 times, but lowered his head, got booted and clotheslined by Barb. Hercules was slowly beaten up in the corner, as Slick dares Barb to try it on him, which was enough for Herc to get a cheap shot and chucks Barb to the floor. Herc drove him into the steps, rolled back in and took the ref, but Slick never got a cheap shot in, which begs the question, why take the ref? After eating some clubbing blows on the apron, Barb pulled Herc to the outside and just quickly went back in the ring. Boots in the corner from Barb, but Herc dove and hit a low blow right in front of Danny Davis, who said it was on the thigh, there’s still some heel in Davis, I guess. This match has slowed to a snails pace, as Barb slowly fights back after getting punched in his dick. Barb knocked Herc to the floor with a Boot of Fear and powerslam back inside, but Barb jumped up and posed. Slick dragged Herc to the floor, as Barb took him to the apron, tried the suplex and Slick did the standard pulling of the foot as Herc landed on top for the tainted win. Barb slingshotted Slick into the ring post match, booted Herc to the floor, as Slick went to his pockets for money, didn’t have any, so told Barb he’d write him a check, which was the highlight of this match. Barb pressed Slick over his head and chucked him down onto Herc, who just let his manager bounce off him like a ball against a wall.

Jim Neidhart vs. Big Bully Busick
October 21, 1991
Goatee vs. Mustache as Bully stalled like a son of a bitch after taking two shoulder blocks. Harvey Wippleman jumped on the apron to run distraction and allow Bully to take over. It was just choking using the ropes from Bully, then clothesline into a rest hold 3 minutes in, which is a lot longer than I thought. Both of these dudes are sucking wind, as Bully goes back to the choking in the ropes, as it’s been 95% of his offense thus far. Anvil gets a knee up in the corner that only gets up to about the knee of Bully, as he hits the ropes and Harvey trips him again, I shit you not, for the DQ. That was it, Bully & Harvey just roll outside and bail. Smart move having neither of these two make it to Survivor Series as originally planned.

Texas Tornado, Greg Valentine & Jimmy Snuka vs. Beverly Brothers & Tanaka
October 28, 1991
What a random grouping, as Snuka leveled everyone in his sight with chops to start things off. Blake & Tornado jump in and have a jockeying for position lock up until Blake took it to Tornado in the corner. Tornado turned the tide quickly with 10 corner punches, but Blake avoided the Claw. He bragged to the crowd, but got turned inside out with a lariat. Tornado missed a corner charge, but Blake missed a splash off the second rope. Hammer made the tag and unloaded chops and bionic elbows aplenty. Hammer hit a pretty violent lariat that I think Blake was supposed to duck and didn’t. Tanaka made the tag and took the fight to Hammer, but got big time back body dropped. Snuka made the tag and was immediately cut off by a cheap shot knee to the back by Beau, who hit a nice butterfly suplex for two. The Beverlys isolated Snuka until Tanaka was hit with a diving headbutt. Snuka quickly tagged Tornado, who jumped in, stumbled briefly and hit his Tornado punch on Tanaka for the quick win. The Beverlys were furious with Tanaka, beat him down post match and hit him with the Shaker Heights Spike for good measure. I didn’t remember this match at all.

British Bulldog vs. Warlord
November 4, 1991
Match joined in progress, as we go right into a Bulldog rest hold, wonderful. Bulldog tried a crucifix, but Warlord slammed him down. We get a bear hug for a full minute, which Bulldog fought out of and hit his stalling vertical suplex. Both dudes ran into each other on a double clothesline, but Bulldog kept running and knocked Warlord to the floor. Slick jumped on the apron and got tossed into the ring. Bulldog hit a running powerslam on the Doctor of Style as Lord Alfred said we’ll never see Slick again if he hit this. Warlord dragged Slick to the floor and took the countout loss, as Warlord saved his managers hat. This was the last time we’d see heel Slick, as this pretty much wrote him off until he came back as a babyface preacher later in 92, then the Kamala pairing, which was insane.

Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian
December 2, 1991
Incredibly boring first half of the match, with Tito working arm bars, Barb escaping briefly, but Tito would go back to the arm for rest holds. Both of these dudes look gassed within minutes until Tito tried a few shoulder blocks, but Barb avoided the third and got a shot to the back as Tito crumbled. Holy shit A TWO MINUTE LONG BEARHUG spot, as Tito bit free and got an atomic drop and flying forearm for two as Barb got a foot on the rope. Tito was bodyslammed down, as Barb went to the top and missed a diving clothesline, the same finish that got him the W at Wrestlemania 6! Tito had it scouted, as he went up top and hit a diving cross body, but Barb rolled through with a handful of tights, which the ref caught. Barb argued with the ref, Tito got a school boy and wins, getting revenge for losing at the Sky Dome. This match was atrocious.

Big Boss Man vs. Kato
December 23, 1991
I popped when Kato was slammed and said Boss Man grabbed his mask, but I’d like to think he meant he was grabbing his hair. Kato backed up Boss Man in the corner and bowed, they did the spot again, but Kato got a cheap shot. Boss Man tried a round house kick, Kato bailed outside and Boss Man put the chase on him. Kato got another cheap shot, but ran into a Boss man big boot and clotheslined to the floor. Boss Man applies a headlock for a full minute before he dropped a leg between the ropes and did his baseball slide punch. Boss Man went up top and missed the worst splash I’ve ever seen. Kato got in some strikes, but Boss Man reversed an Irish whip into the Boss Man Slam for the win. This pairing was random, but the match was a lot of nothing.

Greg Valentine vs. Brooklyn Brawler
December 23, 1991
Brawler got a cheap shot to take over early, but Hammer reversed a whip into a back elbow. Brawler worked a headlock, but bailed to the floor a second time to stall. Hammer finally went out after him and posted Brawler. Back inside, Brawler got an eye poke, bit the head and drove shoulders into the midsection. Hammer fought back with bionic elbows and face buster. A lariat and headbutt to the midsection was what set the table for a standard elbow drop to give Valentine the win. This was The Hammer’s last TV victory in his WWF run, as other wins came on house shows over Hercules & Skinner.

WWF Metal

So Jakked & Metal were the two D shows similar to Pro/Prime and Worldwide for WCW, as I believe they just combined in 2002, so this is a collection of that shows matches that was primarily squashes and some short competitive ones as well. Along with some familiar faces, here we dive into the final few months of Metal/Jakked.

January 5, 2002
Perry Saturn vs Vito Denucci
Saturn keeps up with his tradition of murdering dudes on this show by trying a back drop, but Vito doesn’t get over enough & botches it, so Saturn stomps right on his face & beats the ever loving shit out of him. He drives Vito back & chest first into the side of the apron. Vito fights back with a clothesline & knee lift, but flattened with a lariat from Saturn. Knee to the back & wrenches away, as Saturn hits an atomic drop & springboard dropkick for 2. Vito gets an atomic drop, but Saturn pops up & levels Vito, then applies a standing arm bar for the win. Kevin Kelly called this the Rings of Saturn, which it wasn’t.

Spike Dudley vs Scoot Andrews
There was a girl who got high fived by Spike ringside and was losing her damn mind. Some trips and takedowns by Spike early, as he got a few near falls until Scoot got an eye poke. Spike took a hard corner buckle and ate a picture perfect Scoot dropkick for two followed by a beautiful butterfly suplex. Spike tried making a comeback, but ate a single leg dropkick for another nearfall. Everything Scoot hit was crisp, while Spike’s selling was on point. Scoot would miss a top rope leg drop, which allowed Spike to hit the diving headbutt to the gut, but a tilt a whirl head scissors attempt was countered into a face buster by Scoot for two. Spike dodged a corner splash and hit the Dudley Dog for the win in a fun little match, no pun intended.

Hurricane Helms vs Funaki
Funaki tried to get a fast start, but Helms hit a series of arm drags and fireman carry takedown. Funaki dodged a corner splash, mocked the Hurri-pose, but was jaw jacking with the fans standing in the ropes and crotched himself with Helms shaking the ropes. Funaki hit a Stun Gun, as he remained in control with a bow and arrow submission. Helms hulked up; hit the blockbuster off the second and neckbreaker to follow. Helms hit a vertical suplex and huge top rope cross body for two. Funaki avoided a sleeper into a snazzy backdrop driver, but Helms floated over a suplex into the Eye of the Hurricane for the win.

January 12, 2002
Crash Holly vs Prince Nana
Crash worked the ground game early, but Nana backed him to the corner to get in his shots. Nana missed a splash and was taken down again, as they did a series of leap frogs and multiple Crash dropkicks. Crash went up top, then just jumped down on the mat and opted to go clear across the other side of the ring. He leapt, landed on his feet and did a small standing splash instead, which, alright then. Nana posted Crash and hit a flapjack and running senton for two. Crash fought off Nana while on the second rope and hit a top rope cross body. After a few clotheslines, Crash hit a Tornado Bulldog out of the corner for three.

Perry Saturn vs John Jirus
Jirus is the future ROH World Champion Xavier, who has XVR on his tights. The Perry Saturn Jobber Murder Tour continued to start this, as he just manhandled Jirus, who did hit a hip toss, tried to skin the cat, but Saturn clotheslined him to the floor. Saturn picked up Jirus and drove him back first into the ring steps and his head clonked against the top of the steps, which, how he didn’t get busted open is beyond me. Back in the ring, Saturn is stiff as shit with his offense and it’s pretty nasty, he’s fucking laying it in. Jirus got a sunset flip for two, but ate a crescent kick flush. Saturn just put his knee on Jirus’ back and pulled his neck back. Jirus was able to get off a few knee strikes in the corner, but Saturn exploded out of the corner with a lariat. Jirus got his knees up off a Vader Bomb, hit a Russian leg sweep and neckbreaker, but missed a 450 splash. Saturn hit a pretty cool leg sweep and judo throw before sinking in an arm bar submission that definitely wasn’t the Rings of Saturn for the submission. Xavier hung tough in this one, got some offense in as well, RIP to him, as he’s since passed away far too early.

Christian vs Low-Ki
Pretty unique pairing here. Front face lock takedown by Christian starts, but Low-Ki reverses, only to get popped with a back elbow. Ki with a leaping kick & goes up top, but gets crotched as Christian drives his ribs into the corner. He hangs Ki up on the top rope, the charges, knocking Low-Ki to the floor. Back inside Christian hits a fireman’s carry gut buster for a 2 count, he shoots Ki off the ropes, but Low Ki nails his springboard kick to the face, then a Liger Koppo Kick. Springboard back handspring corner kick as Low-Ki goes for the Phoenix Splash, but rolls through as Christian plants him with the Unprettier for 1…2…3! I know this was just a quick somewhat squash, but Low-Ki got his offense in.

January 19, 2002
Funaki vs Michael Shane
The future X-Division champ sent Funaki to the floor and posted him before quickly going back in the ring. Some reason Coach & Kevin Kelly are talking about Kevin Kelly vs. The Rock instead of calling the action. Funaki is going after the left leg until Shane got a small package for two. Funaki works the leg for about 3 straight minutes until Shane hit a flying forearm and double arm overhead suplex for two. Shane’s leg gave out in the corner as he sat up Funaki, who fought back with a Tornado reverse DDT for the win.

Perry Saturn vs Eddie Craven
Saturn mowed down Craven early on until Craven hit an arm drag and dropkick. Saturn launched Craven to the floor and hit what has become a signature pick a guy up and murder him into the ring steps. It was all Saturn for the next few minutes, until Craven mounted a comeback with a series of lariats and spin kick in the corner. Craven up top for a cross body to get a two count. Saturn no sold some strikes, punted Craven in the back and got a step over neck crank, which Kevin Kelly called the Rings of Saturn, but it wasn’t.

The Bossman vs Shawn Stasiak
I think Bossman had been back less than a month and he’s already on the D show against Meat. I don’t think Stasiak is officially crazy and from Planet Stasiak yet here, he’s still a dude. Bossman got into it ringside with the red hat sign guy (minus the red hat, I think his name is Rick), as the fans go crazy for him. Stasiak gets a babyface cheer for going to the floor and raising hat guy’s hand. Bossman beat up Stasiak in the ring and stared hat guy down. Stasiak got a neckbreaker for two, but Bossman got a thrust chop to the throat and went out to the floor. Slugfest ensued, but Bossman posted Stasiak and went back inside. Stasiak made a comeback, went up top for a crossbody near fall. Stasiak hit the rope and ran right into the Bossman Slam for the win.

January 26, 2002
Crash Holly vs Onyx
Crash for some reason got behind Onyx and did a football call like he was a quarterback, then took him down. Crash teased going to the top three times, finally doing so and did his leap, land on his feet and did a standing splash for two. Onyx drove Crash in the corner, as Kevin Kelly said he had a bad feeling that there’s a cancer in the WWF, but doesn’t want to talk about it, as Coach thinks it’s gas. Kevin compliments Onyx’s physique and Coach starts singing Brick House. They’ve called 1 move this match, as Crash avoided a corner splash and hit a Tornado Bulldog for the win.

Hurricane Helms (w/Mighty Molly) vs AJ Styles
Another Metal match as this was AJ Styles’ WWE Debut you could say. houlder block & a Hurri-pose by the superhero, who gets clocked with a shoulder block by Styles, who mocks Helms, only to get hit with a lariat & hip toss. Tilt a whirl head scissors gets a 2 count by Helms as he does a few thumbs up to the crowd before AJ takes over with a brainbuster for 2. Chinlock by AJ as Molly tries getting the crowd behind Helms, who fights back with a running neckbreaker. Hurri-pose again, big back body drop for another 2, Irish Whip reversed as Helms nails a blockbuster off the second. Eye of the Hurricane is blocked as AJ cracks Helms with a superkick, goes up top, but misses a Shooting Star. Hurricane drops him with a brutal Vertebreaker 1…2…3! For a match with an established star & “enhancement guy” this is about as even & solid as you’ll get.

Perry Saturn vs Funaki
Funaki tried to start fast, but Saturn flattened him with a fireman’s carry flapjack. Funaki answered with a tilt a whirl head scissors that had Saturn going outside to regroup and just get pissed. He just jumped in the ring and punched Funaki right in the face and hit a superkick for good measure. Funaki again battled back with a huge cross body off the top for barely two, but he questioned if it was three. Saturn hit a super rad leg sweep that Funaki took a neck bump from, as Saturn followed with a springboard legdrop for two. Judo throw into the standing step over neck crank for the submission.

February 2, 2002
Scotty & Albert vs Pat Cusick & Steve Perez
Albert towers over Perez, as he does the giant swing for a long time, before headbutting his opponent in the dick. He uses Scotty as a battering ram into Cusick & he hits a neckbreaker. Tag back to Albert, who cleans house once again & catches Perez in mid air, gorilla pressing him down. Scissors Kick on Cusick, but Perez breaks it up at 2. Match breaks down & Albert hits a big corner splash with Scotty on his back. Scotty hits The Worm on Perez and Albert with the Baldo Bomb on Cusick for the 3 count.

Val Venis vs Tajiri
Pre-match, Val kisses a lady from the crowd and talks about his dick. Tajiri walks out with smoke show Torrie as Val gets some early knockdowns, but Tajiri uses his speed to his a wheel kick & hip toss. Coach essentially questions if Tajiri is jealous that Val fucks a different woman every night, despite having TORRIE FUCKING WILSON IN HIS CORNER. Corner rana by Tajiri & a superkick follows as Val pie faces him down, but Tajiri hits the handspring elbow for 2. La Magistral gets another 2, then Tarantula in the corner. Buzzsaw Kick misses, as Val wipes out the leg & applies the Venis Flytrap and Tajiri immediately taps.

Big Boss Man vs Hurricane
Helms wants a handshake and Boss Man obliges, but he doesn’t let go, instead screaming “You think you’re bigger than me mother—---??” Haha, I love Boss Man. He rag dolls Helms down so hard that Mighty Molly sells it outside. He picks Helms apart, pie facing him down as Boss Man choke slams him down. With the ref turned to check on Helms, Molly hits a missile dropkick on Boss Man, which he no sells. Instead, the chase is on and Boss Man runs into a Hurricane bodyslam! He nails a blockbuster out of the corner for 2 & signals for the choke slam, but Boss Man fights free, hitting a Boss Man Slam for the 3.

Taz & Spike vs Crash & Funaki – Tag Team Championship
Jackie is the referee for this one & she looks pretty damn good in the stripes. Spike is sporting a neck brace as he gets a few near falls off roll ups, then a bulldog for another 2. Tag to Taz and they hit a drop toe hold/running boot combo. Crash gets a cheap shot, tags in & Taz suplexes him immediately. Spike tags in & he gets in a chase on the floor, so Crash drop toe holds him into the steps, tags in Funaki, who gets a neckbreaker and 2 count. Fast tags from the challengers as Crash wastes time pulling his trunks up by his chest, but Funaki hangs up Spike in the process. Spike finally hits a clothesline on Crash and the hot tag to Taz, who hits Taz-plexes aplenty, then tags Spike back in, despite Spike getting his ass kicked. They simultaneously hit a Dudley Dog and lock on the Tazmission for the win.

February 9, 2002
Tajiri vs Jason Paritan
Pre-match smooch from Torrie for Tajiri (lucky bastard) as he trades some chain holds with the job guy Paritan before taking him down with a hip toss & standing moonsault for 2. Paritan takes over briefly & hits a super wild leaping clothesline off the top, but got enough of it for 2. Goes up top & misses a leg drop, as Tajiri unleashes some kicks, but Paritan hits a somersault fireman’s carry & flipping neckbreaker for 2. Tajiri up & spin kicks the ribs, then nails one to the neck & hits the Buzzsaw Kick for the 3.

Scotty & Albert vs Crash & Funaki
Giant swing on Crash to start & it goes for a while as Albert falls head first onto Crash’s junk. Fireman’s carry on Funaki, as Scotty jumps off of him to take down Crash. Scotty with a back elbow & boot in the corner, then nails a neckbreaker as he tags back in Albert. Big man cleans house on Funaki, does the flip, flop & fly jabs and hits a bicycle kick on Funaki for 2. Albert wears Scotty as a backpack & splashes Crash, hits The Worm, but Funaki leaps off the top & gets caught into a Baldo Bomb for the 3.

Christian vs Hurricane
Trash talk by Christian early, but Helms responds working the arm. He gets popped with a right, but nails a head scissors. He goes up top, but Christian crotches him. Kitchen sink knee connects & Christian poses as he hangs up Helms on the ropes. Abdominal stretch applied, but Helms fights out, tries the choke slam, but Christian fights out. Helms with a jumping clothesline, Christian sends him over the top, but he lands on his feet. Christian is distracted briefly by Mighty Molly, as Helms hits a top rope cross body for 2. He goes for the superkick, but Christian counters into a reverse neckbreaker for 2. He starts throwing a temper tantrum & grabs Helms’ cape. Molly rips it away & Helms has a small package, but the ref was turned & gets only 2. Eye of the Hurricane countered into the Unprettier for the 3 count.

February 16, 2002
Lance Storm vs Funaki
Eye poke by Storm, but Funaki answers with some arm drags & snap dropkick. They trade counters until Funaki hits a leg sweep, sends Storm to the corner, charges & he eats a leg lariat. Storm chops away, then lariats Funaki down for 2. Funaki fights out of a rest hold & we get a double clothesline spot. Funaki mounts a comeback & hits a running bulldog for 2. Jawbreaker by Storm, but Funaki gets a roll up for 2. He charges & Lance hits a snap powerslam for 2. Lots of near falls in this fast paced match here. Fireman’s carry sommersault into the Canadian Crab and Storm wins it. They crammed 10 minutes of stuff into 3. I dug it.

Big Boss Man vs Saturn
Black usual top for Boss Man, but light brown pants, which is just a weird combo seeing as we usual see Bossman is one kind of gear. Anyways, he gets an early back drop on Saturn for 2, as Saturn nails some thrust chops to the throat & boots. Leg sweep drops Bossman, as does the springboard dropkick for 2. Saturn floats over a slam, hits the ropes and runs into the Boss Man Slam for the 3 count. This went barely 90 seconds.

Val Venis vs Crash
Crash goes right after Val at the bell, stomping a mud hole in him in the corner, choking away, but gets distracted by the ref & Val drops him with a lariat. Hard rights connect as Val hits the back elbow, elbow drop, knee drop combo for 2. Crash floats over a suplex into a DDT to get time to recover as he hits a nice neckbreaker for 2 of his own. He slaps on a sleeper, but Val slams him into the corner & hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. Val mounts the comeback, hits the revolution knees & leg sweep, drop toe holds Crash down & snaps the leg. It sets up the Venis Flytrap submission to give Val the win.

Billy & Chuck vs Albert & Scotty
Albert takes the fight to Billy early with the giant swing, but both get so dizzy that nothing happens for like 45 seconds and Billy just recovers outside with Chuck. Finally Albert separate them & tosses Chuck back inside, who has a major wedgie. Scotty slaps his bare ass (I just typed that) and suddenly Chuck Palumbo is Rikishi. Scotty hits a neckbreaker for 2 as Chuck crawls and grabs Billy’s waist on the apron. Scotty headbutts Chuck into Billy’s junk (another thing I just typed) as B&C have had enough and start beating up Scotty in the corner. Scotty fights back & DDT’s Chuck, who sells it perfectly, like RVD level of selling. Hot tag to Albert, who gorilla presses Billy over his head, but the ref is checking on Scotty outside & Chuck hits the Jungle Kick on the big man, as Billy collapses onto him for the 3 count. Post match, Albert lays out Chuck, while Scotty hits The Worm on Billy to make the crowd happy.

February 23, 2002
Big Boss Man vs Michael Shane
Metal continues putting future TNA X Division Champs in action as Bossman just chucks Shane outside, but Shane quickly got back in & hits a dropkick, but misses the follow up. Bossman misses a back elbow, but Shane gets caught with a cross body & slammed down as Bossman is just toying with him already. He’s raking at the face of Shane in front of the cameras, but Shane fights back, only to get hit with a big boot for 2. Bossman misses a splash in the corner, Shane nails a flying forearm, hits the ropes full steam right into a Boss Man Slam for 1…2…3. Quick squash, but it was a unique pairing of a future X-Division champ and also this was during Boss Man’s final few months with the company.

Test vs Crash
Hit and run by Crash to start as he hits a missile dropkick, charges & Test nails a spinning powerbomb. Crash fights out of the corner with a Tornado DDT as he fires off some rights, but runs right into a tilt a whirl suplex for 2. Test argues with the ref as Crash gets a crucifix for 2. Test avoids the Tornado Bulldog, Crash avoids the big boot, but he can’t avoid the Test Drive spinning neck breaker to give Test the 3 count.

Val Venis vs Scotty Too Hotty
Val backdrops out of a headlock early for 2 as Scotty boots out in the corner, goes for The Worm, but Val levels him with a lariat. Venis up top for the Money Shot, but Scotty moves. He stumbles to his feet and Val is already in position, so he does The Worm to a huge pop, but Val rolls outside. Scotty nails a baseball slide & tosses Val back inside for a 2 count. He charges & Val nails a spinebuster, then the Venis Flytrap submission for the pretty quick win.

The Dudleys vs Tajiri & Funaki
Yeah, let’s relegate Stacy & Torrie to the D-Show, smart move there. I loved Stacy as the Duchess of Dudleyville, I just loved Stacy. Anyways, I digress, Funaki & Tajiri hit the ring to brawl, but that doesn’t work, as the Dudleys take early control. Tajiri rolls out of a Bubba Bomb attempt & hits a spin kick for 2, but Bubba tags in D-Von and they double team Tajiri. Wheel kick by Tajiri, who nails a moonsault for 2, then tags Funaki, who gets in a few rights before laying out D-Von with an enzugiri & knocking Bubba to the floor. Dropkick & arm drag but Bubba lowers the ropes & Funaki falls outside. Bubba tosses him back in & D-Von takes over. The Dudleys pick apart Funaki as Bubba nails a neckbreaker & some hard elbows for 2. Bubba does the racist Japanese mocking bowing, as he applies a leg lock on Funaki, but Tajiri jumps in & punts Bubba in the head. D-Von lays out Funaki with a spinning back elbow as we get a camera shot of Torrie looking delightful as D-Von nails a spinning reverse DDT for 2. Bubba tags in, goes to the second & gets distracted, allowing Funaki to punch him square in the dick & a hurricanrana for 2. Hot tag to the Buzzsaw as he cleans house with kicks. Tarantula applied, but Stacy rakes his eyes and the catfight chase is on before Torrie takes Stacy down in the ring. Tajiri just watches as Bubba goes after Torrie, but gets kicked in the head & hit with a springboard elbow. He tries for a Buzzsaw Kick on D-Von, but he ducks & they hit the 3D as Funaki is knocked to the floor for the 3 count. Really fun tag match for the D Show.

March 2, 2002
Albert & Scotty vs Saturn & Funaki
So, Albert & Scotty have a little person with them and it’s never explained. Neither Kevin Kelly or Coach can tell us who he is, they refuse to ask questions. Equally as baffling is the team of Saturn & Funaki. Scott avoids a superkick right out the gate & mocks Funaki by bowing to him, then tags Albert, who does the equally as racist mocking bow. He starts a giant swing on Funaki & then the little guy jumps in the ring while this is happening & he just does laps. No fucking clue what’s happening, as they finally say the little guy is Samson. Saturn tags in & throws some punches at Albert, but the big man clotheslines him down. Dropkick by Saturn, but Scotty tags in, gets clocked from behind by Funaki & tripped as the heels (I guess?) take over. Headbutt to the gut, tries it again & Scotty gets a sunset flip for 2. Northern Lights throw by Saturn, who tags Funaki & Scotty hits an enzugiri, tagging Albert. Shoulder tackles & back elbows by the Hip Hop Hippo, but he walks right into a Exploder Suplex by Saturn. Match breaks down, Saturn superkicks Scotty, so Albert cleans house. He slaps his partner on the ass & wakes him up for The Worm as Albert hits a splash for the win. The fuck did I just watch?

Goldust vs Tajiri
What in the hell is Torrie doing on the D show? My goodness, she’s looking great. Jackie is the referee for this one as Goldust hits an early atomic drop & slingshot/backbreaker off the ropes. Goldust goes & hits a Bulldog off the second rope, as Torrie jumps up on the apron to distract Goldy. Tajiri superkicks Goldust & gets a 2 count. Tarantula applied, Tajiri goes for the Buzzsaw, Goldust counters into a Curtain Call attempt, Tajiri floats over, misses the Buzzsaw, Goldust hits a Rude Awakening neckbreaker and gets the 3. This went 90 seconds and Goldust flattens the Cruiserweight Champion. That was it. Waste of Torrie.

The Dudleys vs Spike & Taz
Stacy is here as the Duchess of Dudleyville as Taz & Bubba start with dueling takedowns. Bubba hooks an arm bar, but Taz spins out into a Taz-plex. Running boot to the head as Spike tags in, tries for a victory roll, but Bubba turns it into an electric chair before tagging D-Von. Spike gets a boot up in the corner, but Bubba grabs his arm, shoots his brother off while on the apron & D-Von hits a snap powerslam for 2. Bubba back in, but Spike tries fighting back, Bubba launches him with a monkey flip though. The Dudleys hit the Wassup Headbutt, as they keep Spike isolated. Bubba misses a huge senton off the second & we get a Taz hot tag with Taz-plexes aplenty. Spike tags in, connects with a Dudley Dog on D-Von, but Bubba breaks it up at 2. Spike goes up top & Stacy shoves him off, so Taz applies the Tazmission to her, only to turn around into 3D for the win, despite Taz not being the legal man.

Edge vs Test
Test attacks immediately, but Edge turns the tide quick & gets an arm drag/bar. Test knees out, but Edge answers with a spin kick & neckbreaker for 2. Knee to the gut by Test, but Edge fights back with forearms. Test tries & hits the Pump Handle Slam for a super close 2, then sets Edge up for the big boot, charges & Edge ducks, hits the Spear for a close 2 of his own. Test spins out of the DDT, tries a powerbomb, but Edge floats over into a sunset flip for 3. Post match, Test hits the big boot & stands tall.

March 9, 2002
Perry Saturn vs Paul London
Full year before London signs with the company. Arm drags by London to start as Saturn slaps him, so London responds & it just pisses off Saturn. Dropsault by London sends Saturn to the floor to regroup. Saturn back in, shoots London chest first into the corner & gets a leg sweep. Headbutt to the gut & running boot as Saturn nails a cravat/neckbreaker for 2. Cobra Clutch applied, ripcord & Saturn hits a belly to belly, then vertical suplex & punts London in the back. London gets a sunset flip for 2, but he walks into a fireman’s carry flapjack as Saturn goes up top & hits the elbow, but takes forever for the cover & gets 2. He goes up top again, but London hits a dropkick in mid air. London with a roll up for 2, then tilt a whirl head scissors & wheel kick. Dropsault again hits as London hits a springboard moonsault from the apron for another 2. London goes up top, but misses a Shooting Star Press. Saturn responds with an overhead release Dragon Suplex, then the DVD for 3. This match fucking ruled!

Crash vs Eddie Craven
So Crash makes his entrance, stands in the center of the ring & stares up at the ceiling for a long time, to the point the bell rings & the ref snaps him out of it. I have zero clue why that just happened, there’s zero reasoning explained. After they trade arm work, Crash hits a standing rana & dropkick, then gets a 2 count off a back elbow. He misses a corner splash & Craven posts him, back to work on the arm. Crash tries to get out, but misses a dropkick, allowing Craven to again go back to the arm for at least a minute. He bodyslams Crash with his arm tied behind him, then goes to the second, but misses a leg drop. Crash gets a roll up for 2, small package for 2, hits a back elbow & clotheslines with the good arm. He floats over a Craven back suplex & hits a Tornado bulldog out of the corner for the 3 count. Crash took like 5% of this match, which is a little surprising.

Val Venis vs Mike Anthony
Pre-match, Val brings a plant (a person, not an actual plant) in the ring & plants (pun intended) a smooch on her. Then Mike Anthony, who I’ve never heard of, gets an entrance. Val gets a few early arm drags, hits a back elbow, proper elbow & knee drop, leading to 10 punches in the mount. Butterfly suplex hits perfectly, as he fires off some rights, but Anthony gets a snap powerslam. Val takes a hard corner buckle as Anthony dishes out bad looking punches & boots. Val starts fighting back, as Anthony just stands there to take a running clothesine. He does hit one on Val in return, then a Northern Lights for 2. Both slow to get up as Val gets a small package for 2, then drops Anthony with a neckbreaker, flying shoulder tackle, spinebuster & the Venis Flytrap for the win. Anthony got gassed quick in this one and it showed.

March 16, 2002
Hurricane vs Funaki
Funaki attacks before the bell, but Hurricane hits a straightjacket leg sweep for 2. Back elbow out of the corner by Funaki, who gets a snap suplex for 1. He tries a back suplex, but Helms floats over & nails a leaping neckbreaker for the double down. Leaping clothesline, back elbow & chokeslam attempt, but Funaki battles out. Helms hits the Eye of the Hurricane for 2, but misses a corner splash, Funaki rolls him up, feet on the ropes for 2. Tornado DDT misses by Funaki, as Helms nails the corner blockbuster for the 3 count.

Lance Storm vs The Godfather
Bell sounds and Storm just throws some punches, but Godfather answers with a running boot to the dome. Bodyslam & elbow connect as the Ho’s outside, their voices sound like nails on a chalkboard. Godfather misses the Ho Train splash as Storm bails outside & pulls Godfather out there. He beats down the pimp, tosses him back inside & nails a springboard clothesline for 2. Storm tries a corner elbow, but misses as Godfather mounts his comeback. He’s a house of fire as he nails a huge high back body drop, revs up the engine & hits the Ho Train. He tries for the Voodoo Breaker, but Storm wiggles free and hits the superkick for the 3 count!

Val Venis vs Saturn
Pre-match, Val once again pulls a lady (way too attractive to actually hail from this town) out of the crowd to smooch her. Saturn comes out in what will be his final WWE match, as Val drops him with a wonky clothesline, back elbow, then a knee drop, as he sends Saturn over the top outside. Saturn hangs Val up throat first over the top & hits a springboard dropkick for 2. Snap suplex gets Saturn another near fall as he slaps on a rest hold. He lets go & nails a back breaker, but Val answers with a running clothesline. Saturn tries a sleeper, but Val turns it into a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. Saturn cuts him off & nails his Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gradunza for 2. He complains too long & Val hits a spinebuster, then the Venis Flytrap submission for the win. This was Saturn’s last TV match I believe in the WWF. His run ended before they became WWE.

Tajiri vs Crash – Cruiserweight Championship
Crash cheaps shots Tajiri to start, but the Buzzsaw launches Crash to the floor in response. Back inside, he chops away at Elroy, who answers with a tilt a whirl back breaker for 2. Atomic drop by Tajiri sends Crash leaping into Brian Hebner’s arms for a pop. Hebner drops him and Crash attacks Tajiri. Crash tries his corner bulldog, but gets caught up in the Tree of Woe as Tajiri hits the baseball slide dropkick. Handspring elbow connects for 2, Tarantula applied as Kevin Kelly, in 2002, calls it like he would a Destinoooooooo. Crash takes Tajiri down, goes up top for a missile dropkick, but a 2 count. Hurricanrana pin by Crash, but Tajiri slides out, punts Crash in the neck, then hits the Buzzsaw Kick for the win. Fun little match.

March 23, 2002
Scotty & Albert vs Crash & Funaki
So that gimmick of having a little person with Scotty & Albert lasted 1 show (thankfully). Albert uses his size on the little guys early, doing a giant swing on Crash while backpacking Funaki! That was fucking cool looking. He got so dizzy; he fell head first into the crotch of Crash, then tags his partner. Elbow drop/side slam combo for 2 as Funaki attacks, but gets tripped up. Albert calls for The Worm, but Crash clotheslines Scotty down. The isolate Scotty for quite a while until Scotty neckbreakers Crash for the double down. Hot tag to Albert, who is a house of fire on both cruiserweights. Flip, flop & fly from the Hip Hop Hippo as he gorilla presses Funaki high in the air down. Match breaks down as they hit a double splash on Funaki & Crash. The Worm on Funaki and big time splash by Albert gets the 3 count.

Val Venis vs Lance Storm
Val smooches a 7 before the match as Storm gets some cheers due to this being in Canada (I think, this was right after Mania 18). Val gets some early clotheslines & big back drop as he throws some rights & does his back elbow, elbow drop, knee drop combo. Neckbreaker connects, as does a jumping shoulder block, but Lance hooks on a sleeper briefly (his first hold of the match), but Val hits a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2. Jawbreaker & German suplex for 2 by Storm, but he runs right into a Val spinebuster. He hooks on a Camel Clutch, shoves Lances head between his legs & gets the 3 count. Post match, Storm lays Val out with a superkick as his music plays. Why the hell not just have Storm win?

APA vs Mr. Perfect & Big Boss Man
Hell yes, some Mr. Perfect on Metal and he’s teaming with his Wrestlemania 7 opponent. Perfect eats a back elbow & leaping shoulder tackle by Faarooq for 2 as Hennig quickly tags Bossman and here comes JBL. Loud “Bossman Sucks” chants is the first chants I’ve heard on this show as we have a slug fest on our hands. JBL wears him out & drops an elbow for 2. Perfect back in, who hits the ropes & gets planted with a Last Call. He can’t do anything after that, as Bossman jumps in & boots JBL in the head as the heels take over. Faarooq has the ref while Bossman covers JBL & he’s pissed he didn’t count. Bossman tries a powerbomb, but JBL backdrops out of it. Tag to Perfect, who slams JBL down, but they bonk heads & we get a double down. Tags made to both partners as Faarooq is a house of fire with a snap powerslam for 2. JBL trips Perfect, while Faarooq hits a super sloppy spinebuster on Bossman. He follows it up by hitting a scary powerbomb for the 3 count. Wish this match was better, but it was what it was.

March 30, 2002
Tommy Dreamer vs Raven
Dreamer attacks early, but Raven launches him off the apron onto the barricade. Back inside, Raven punches away, hits his bounce back clothesline out of the corner & a perfect knee lift for 2. Raven with a neck crank, but Dreamer fights back with a back suplex. Dreamer throws some rights & swinging neckbreaker as Tommy nails a leg sweep and powerslam for 2. They both reverse Irish whips, but Dreamer hits the DDT for 2. Raven gets a school boy for 2, tries a running bulldog, but gets sent to the corner & Dreamer nails a spinebuster for the 3 count. Wish this got more than 2 minutes, but here we are.

Lance Storm vs Val Venis
No pre-match smooch for Val tonight as Storm makes his entrance & wants revenge for last week. Morons in the crowd are chanting USA, USA, despite both being from Canada. Snap suplex gets Lance a 2 count early, but Val answers with a boot in the corner. Revolution knees & side Russian leg sweep, as Val misses a leaping splash. Venis takes a hard corner buckle as Storm gets a 2 off a big slam. He works over the small of the back to get a near fall. Val makes his comeback with a fisherman’s suplex, but gets a 2 count. Storm fights out of the corner, hitting a springboard dropkick for 2. Val rolls up an argumentative Storm for 2, Lance rolls through, tries a superkick, but Val with a roll up 1…2…Storm rolls through, handful of tights 1…2…3! Revenge for last week.

Test vs Spike
Hit & run by Spike to start as it works until he tries a cross body off the apron. Test catches him & slams him against the post before heading inside. Hard corner clothesline by Test, but he misses a big elbow. Spike tries a crucifix, but Test slams out for 2. Diving headbutt in the gut as Spike nails a flying forearm tries the Dudley Dog, but Test launches him clear across the ring. Test misses the big boot, tries a powerbomb, Spike rolls through for 2. Spike charges & Test destroys him with a big boot for 3.

Tajiri & Funaki vs Kidman & Hurricane
Torrie lookin GOODT here, as Kidman & Tajiri start fast, punting Kidman in the head. Funaki takes the fight to Helms, as the heels hit dueling arm drags, as the faces hit double dropkicks on the heels for a 4 way stalemate. Crowd cheers as Kidman & Helms hit an assisted hip toss for 2. Tajiri hits a snap dropkick & tag to Funaki as he lays out Helms with a back suplex. Snap dropkick by Funaki this time, but Helms fights back, tagging Kidman. They hit an assisted fireman’s carry neckbreaker for 2. The faces make quick tags & briefly isolate Funaki, but Helms misses a corner splash & Funaki gets the bulldog for the double down. Tag to Tajiri as I have no idea why Tajiri & Funaki are being treated as babyfaces here (I do know, Torrie). Tajiri is a house of fire & nails the handspring elbow, then the Tarantula, but Helms breaks it up. Funaki tumbles outside& Kidman hits a plancha as Tajiri nails an Asaii Moonsault. Helms puts on the cape, goes up top & hits a wild dive onto Funaki & Tajiri. Back inside, Kidman hits a spinebuster on Tajiri, while Helms nails a Tornado DDT on Funaki for a double 2 count. Funaki sent outside, Tajiri kicks his way out of a double team & Buzzsaw Kicks Kidman down for the 3 count as Helms gets tripped up by Funaki outside. Fun match, but it was…I lost my train of thought, Torrie walked into the shot & she’s wearing delightful pants.

April 6, 2002
Chavo Guerrero & Hugh Morrus vs Hurricane & Funaki
Fast start by Funaki & Chavo, as Guerrero gets planted with a running bulldog & Chavo scurries to his partner. Tag to the big man, who chops away, as Funaki tries a running cross body, but bounces off Morrus like a brick wall. Tag to Hurricane, who tries a bodyslam, but Morrus rag dolls him down. Hurricane uses his speed after an eye poke, goes up top & hits a high cross body for 2. Tag to Funaki & they hit a double suplex on Morrus for another 2. Funaki gets tripped by Chavo & Morrus gorilla presses him while making a tag to his partner, slams him down & Chavo hits a springboard splash for 2. They isolate Funaki for a bit before Morrus misses a top rope elbow. Hot tag to Helms, who hits a bodyslam this time on Morrus & a neckbreaker on Chavito. Double wheelbarrow bulldog gets a 2 count as Funaki gets back in & launches Helms outside onto Morrus. Funaki misses a Tornado DDT, as Chavo hits a brainbuster for the 3.

Faarooq vs Lance Storm
ECW chants for Lance here, as Faarooq uses his power early on with a snap powerslam for 2. Boot to the corner by Lance, who hits a second rope dropkick, which Faarooq decides to no sell. Lance rakes the eyes & hangs up Faarooq on the top rope, then hits a springboard clothesline for 2. Storm hits a perfect standing dropkick for another near fall, as Storm keeps throwing punches & a snap dropkick, but he tries for a second one & runs into a spinebuster for the 3 count. Faarooq did literally 2 moves this match.

(We get an in ring segment with The Godfather turning heel, firing his escort, which brings out Val Venis, who tries to change his mind. It’s like we’re supposed to forget these two were RTC less than a year prior. Val pitches that The Godfather should get his ladies into films, then lays a kiss on the fired ho, who just rolls out of the ring. Godfather lays out Val with a microphone shot & that was it.)

Jazz vs Ivory – Women’s Championship
Super quick near fall by Ivory, as she answers with a snap mare & dropkick to the back. Ivory runs right into a Samoan Drop to give Jazz a 2 count. Boots to the ribs & a butterfly suplex by the champ, as Ivory starts fighting back. Crowd is actually pretty loud cheering Ivory, who gets taken down with a brief arm bar & bodyslammed down. Jazz misses a leaping splash as Ivory gets a school girl for 2. Kitchen sink knee & a sloppy spinebuster gets another 2. Ivory throws some rights, but Jazz catches a kick & hits a dragon screw, then sinks in the STF for the win.

April 13, 2002
Hugh Morrus vs Christian
Morrus is a babyface here in this one & they are playing this off like a house show match with a lot of stalling & crowd chant back & forth to start. Hugh tries to gorilla press Christian high in the air to a big pop, but Christian wiggles out into a reverse DDT for 2. Boots by Captain Charisma, as he applies two rest holds, which Morrus fights out of, but Christian cuts him off with a knee to the gut for 2. Christian goes up top, but he gets launched. It didn’t last long, as Christian floated over a back suplex attempt, tried for Unprettier, but Morrus shoves him into the corner, hits a big splash & flapjack for 2. Christian rakes the eyes, tries for another reverse DDT, but Morrus hits a big time powerslam for 2. Morrus tries for Snake Eyes, but Christian floats over & gets his DDT for 2. Christian starts throwing a temper tantrum (remember that gimmick?) and while he’s on his back, Morrus connects with No Laughing Matter for 3. This was the biggest pop for a Hugh Morrus win in the WWE/F

Billy Kidman vs Chavo Guerrero
They trade counters & Kidman gets a hip toss & slingshot head scissors, but Chavo sends Kidman outside & nails a slingshot dive for 2 back inside. Chavo works an abdominal stretch, but switches into a chin lock. He manages to get Kidman into a Gory Special, but hits a hot shot out of it, dropping Kidman outside. Chavo throws him back in, goes for a high cross body off the top, but Kidman hits the dropkick in mid air. Kidman tries his short arm clothesline, but Chavo counters into a DDT for 2. Kidman fights back with a reverse Razor’s Edge for 2 of his own & that was a super rad looking move as Chavo fights back with a German suplex for 2. Solid back & forth here as Kidman floats over a back suplex & hits a spinebuster, as he goes for the Shooting Star Press, but Chavo crotches him. Kidman spins out a suplex, hits a swinging neckbreaker & gets the pin!

DDP vs Hardcore Holly
Holly tries an early hip toss, but Page clotheslines out & hits a DDT for 2. Shoulder tackle by Page, who runs right into a picture perfect Holly dropkick. Holly jaw jacks with someone in the crowd before beating Page down with clubbing blows. Holly does his low kick in the ropes, but as Holly talks with the ref; DDP hulks up, shoots Holly to the corner, charges & eats a boot and clothesline. Holly hits a vertical suplex for 2, then goes up top. DDP crotches him, goes up & hits a massive superplex (I think Page legit hurt himself on this one). Both men slowly up & Page hits his discus clothesline for 2. He hits the spinning powerbomb for another near fall as they both tumble outside & are slow to get to their feet. They start brawling & we have a double countout. Lame ending for a hard hitting match. Page would only have 1 more match in the WWF (against Holly) the following week on Smackdown, as his back was shot I think.

April 27, 2002
Hugh Morrus vs Lance Storm
Storm gets the upper hand early, as he takes out the knees of his former Alliance member, throwing hard right hands to the corner, as he chops away. Morrus reverses a whip & levels Lance with a clothesline, then hits the follow up splash. He hits a right hand, but Storm takes a back bump & low blows Morrus at the same time, which was brilliant. More rights in the corner, as Lance launches the ref clear across the ring & Morrus does the same. Double DQ is called and we have a pull apart over reasons I have no idea.

Chavo Guerrero vs Hurricane
Lots of reversals & also lots of posing by Helms to pop the crowd as he hits a monkey flip & tilt a whirl back breaker. Chavo gets sent outside by a head scissors & Helms goes up top, but Chavo bails to avoid the dive. Helms out after him, but Chavo hits an enzugiri on the apron, dropping Helms to the floor. Chavo drives his opponent into the side of the ring, but Helms fires back inside, only to be beaten down in the corner. Hard corner buckle & back suplex gets Chavo 2 as he locks on the abdominal stretch. Helms fights free, hits a running cross body for 2, floats over a suplex & hits a leaping neckbreaker to cause a double down. Both men up & Helms nails a leaping lariat & back elbow, then a high back body drop. Helms goes up top, high cross body, but Chavo kicks out. Helms hits a Buff Blockbuster for another near fall, then signals for the end, as he looks for Eye of the Hurricane, but Chavo rolls him up, handful of tights for the 3 count.

Jazz vs Ivory – Women’s Title
Ivory takes the fight to Jazz on the floor early, slamming her into the steps, then heads inside for a clothesline & bodyslam. She tries a terrible splash that Jazz gets her knees up for, hitting a snap powerslam for 2. Ivory fights back, but Jazz shoots a double leg & slingshots the challenger into the ropes throat first. She hangs up Ivory on the top again, then does a reverse cravat, dropping a leg after, but missing a splash. Ivory fights back with right hands, tries a back slide for 2, but Jazz gets a really sloppy drop toe hold. She briefly puts on the Crippler Crossface, but releases it, hits a spinebuster, then applies her STF for the win. Pretty sloppy match.

Faarooq & Val Venis vs Test & The Godfather
Both Test & Val take turns beating the shit out of each other to start with punches & boots aplenty. Test gets control, tags Godfather and the RTC members start duking it out with the Godfather nailing some big boots & an elbow drop, multiple ones in fact. He chokes Val in the ropes & drops him with a leaping shoulder tackle for 2. Throat chop by Godfather, who lowers his head, but Val gets a boot up, then a back elbow. They do a double clothesline spot as Faarooq finally tags into this match & is a house of fire on Godfather, who he plants with a snap powerslam for 2. Test breaks it up and Val in after him. Faarooq sends Test outside to brawl as Godfather gets planted with a powerbomb as Val goes up top for the Money Shot, but Test crotches him & pulls him outside. Godfather gets up and turns into a Faarooq spinebuster for the 3 count. Post match, Test immediately murders Faarooq with a big boot & Godfather levels Val in the throat with his cane.

Terry Funk Forever

20 random Funker matches for your reading pleasure

Terry Funk vs. Jerry Lawler – Empty Arena Match
CWA – April 6, 1981
Lance Russell is in the ring alone, having to put his cigarette out prior to previewing the upcoming match. Funk shows up and starts cursing like a sailor as Russell said for him to stop, as they want to use some of this footage, “goodness”. Funk trash talks Lawler, who finally shows up after 5 minutes and the fight is on. They’re throwing haymakers, as Funk bails outside before locking up inside with Lawler taking Funk down to the floor and spills into the empty seats. Funk wiped out about 40 chairs already and chucks some at Lawler, who dodges and throws Funk into more chairs. Funk starts having a match with a seating bracket thing and brings it into the ring and clocks Lawler with it before hitting a piledriver on the floor. Funk is screaming so loud his voice is cracking and you can tell the influence future Mankind character had from this. Funk broke apart a wooden 2x4, as Funk wants to spike Lawler, demanding Lance Russell to ask Lawler if he quits. Funk screams for Russell to watch this, as in the ring, Lawler fights off being impaled with the piece of wood with Lawler fighting back. Lawler kicks Funk’s elbow into his eye with that wood, where Funk starts bleeding (after a strategic quick camera cut). Funk is pleading for his eye and begs for a doctor as Lawler walks off with Funk saying “my eye, my eye”. Russell walks off to go call a doctor and just walks away to do it, way to put some hustle into it Lance! This was groundbreaking stuff at the time if I recall. The acting of Funk deserved an award.

Terry Funk vs. Jake “The Milkman” Milliman
AWA Pro Wrestling USA – February 16, 1985
Milliman was forced to regroup outside early after being starched with some shots. Back inside, Funk hit a stalling spinning suplex for two, as the kick out got the crowd to go nuts. Funk silenced that shit with a piledriver, but Milliman’s foot was on the ropes. Verne Gagne on commentary said he’s calling him No Neck Milliman going forward. Funk chucked No Neck to the floor and trash talked the crowd before Milliman rolled back in and took his lumps again. Milliman reversed slamming Funk head first in the corner and the crowd lost their shit, but Milliman charged, missed and fell over the top. Funk softened up the left leg with forearms on it repeatedly before doing the Spinning Toe Hold and Milliman submitted.

Terry Funk vs. Jose Luis Rivera
Championship Wrestling – July 20, 1985
There’s a sign that a fan is holding called Terry Funk Should Take a Course in Sensitivity Training. Rivera got an early back body drop and uppercuts, as Funk was reeling early. In a headlock, Funk hit a slingshot back suplex and chucked Rivera to the floor. Funk went out after and hit an atomic drop before heading back inside. Funk tried ducking a leap frog and pretty much crotched Rivera before driving him down with a fireman’s carry stun gun on the top rope. Funk slapped on the Sleeper and that’s all she wrote.

Terry Funk vs. Paul Roma
All Star Wrestling – July 21, 1985
Roma wouldn’t back down from an early scuffle and got in a shot to the face, so Funk just lit him up with strikes and boots. A running atomic drop sent Roma face first in the corner and Funk was relentless, screaming at Roma to get up, pig! Roma reversed a whip and awkwardly wanted a hip toss, which Funk wasn’t going over for, so he dished out three headbutts and a bodyslam. Funk missed multiple elbows and Roma nearly got a small package, but resulted in Funk clobbering him more. Funk hit a spinning suplex and knee drop that led to the Spinning Toe Hold for the submission. Romeo Roma didn’t stand a chance.

Terry Funk vs. Ron Dee
Championship Wrestling – October 26, 1985
After an early bodyslam, Dee was immediately distracted by Jimmy Hart, as Funk blindsided Dee and stomped away before going after the crowd who were jaw jacking with Hart. Back inside, Funk just hit a standard elbow drop and got the win that was literally it. Post match, Funk missed branding Dee, so Funk just beat the shit out of him for doing that and had to be pulled off by the referee. The referee reversed his decision and gave the match to Dee, which infuriated Funk, who beat down Dee even more. Fans had to be pulled back, as they were throwing drinks at Funk & Hart. Holy shit these two got crazy heat.

Terry Funk vs. Michael Saxon
Championship Wrestling – January 11, 1986
The same Sensitivity Training sign we saw 6 months earlier is shown, as how fucking many months in advance did Vince tape these matches?? Fans are chanting Asshole, which Vince on commentary can’t understand. Saxon got an early drop toe hold, but Funk just got up and sent Saxon outside where Jimmy Hart got in a shot. The chase was on, as Hart, Saxon & Funk all ran around the ring until Funk got his shots in. Funk fakes like he’s going into the crowd, as Saxon slowly rolls back in the ring, but gets slammed down again. JYD headbutts connect repeatedly before Funk locks in a sleeper and Saxon goes out. Post match, Funk brands the double cross onto the chest of Saxon.

Terry Funk vs. SD Jones
All Star Wrestling – February 9, 1986
I think Funk spat his tobacco at Jones, who sent Funk flying over the top in the corner and double stomped him as a result. Funk was forced to regroup with Jimmy Hart outside as back inside, Jones lowered his head for a backdrop, but Funk punted him in the head. A slugfest ensues with Jones winning that and getting some headbutts to follow. Funk spilled outside where Jimmy Hart clocked Jones with the branding iron and the chase was on. Hart ran into the ring and Funk clobbered Jones with a lariat for the win. How Hart wasn’t DQ’d for using the iron is beyond me. Funk screamed at a lady ringside and had to be pulled back by Hart on the way to the locker room.

Terry Funk vs. Eddie Guerrero
World Championship Wrestling – May 20, 1989
Eddie used his speed early to evade the strikes and used a thrust kick to send Funk outside to regroup. Funk took Eddie down and did the giant swing, but missed the follow up dive in the ropes, allowing Eddie to fire off dropkicks and head scissors. Funk side stepped an oncoming Eddie on the third attempt and just dumped Eddie over the top like a sack of potatoes. Jim Ross questions why there wasn’t a DQ called and said it must be because the ref was intimidated. Funk missed a charge outside and posted himself, allowing Eddie to hit a massive crossbody from the top to the outside, but missed a slingshot dive follow up. Funk got a massive running start, hitting the ropes about 4 times before hitting a baseball slide and piledriver outside before tossing Eddie back inside to get the pin. This was so much fucking fun for a squash match.

Terry Funk vs. Ranger Ross
Main Event – June 11, 1989
Funk wanted Ross to say the Pledge of Allegiance to start, but attacked before that could happen. Funk screamed at Ross to fight back, as Ross fired up outside and chased after Funk, who ran away. Ross nearly smacked him with a chair before Funk jumped in the crowd and tried fighting fans. Funk regrouped, as back inside Ross did a Karate Kid crane kick pose, but Funk just mowed him down with a shoulder tackle. Ross got in one headlock, but Funk dropped him with a back suplex and chopped the shit out of him in the corner. Funk missed a corner charge and Ross hit two dropkicks that sent Funk outside. Ross high jumped over the top rope, but Funk hit a forearm on the way down and hit a piledriver on the floor. Funk single legged the camera man randomly before tossing Ross in the ring for the win. Funk was so random it ruled. Post match, Funk trash talked a woman with a crutch and had to be pulled back by Tommy Young, who looked to be laughing when some fat guy in the audience stood in front of him because he thinks this is all real. JR said it was “some guy from the donut shop”.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Santana
Worldwide – July 1, 1989
Funk had busted open Sting earlier in the night with his branding iron, so the crowd is chanting for Sting a majority of this match. Funk spilled into the crowd with Santana, where he drove him face first on the barricade. Funk started choking Santana with his wrist tape unbeknownst to Tommy Young, as Funk discarded the evidence before going after the crowd. Santana was again sent to the floor where he countered an arm bar and slammed Funk’s arm on the barricade and ring post with the crowd going wild for Santana. Jim Ross said this is revenge for Santana’s friend Sting, as I don’t ever remember Sting being buddies with the future Barrio Brother. Back inside, Santana hit a dropkick, but missed the follow tope outside. Funk got up and hit the piledriver on the floor and another back inside for the win.

Terry Funk vs. Ray Lloyd
Worldwide – July 8, 1989
The Funker vs. Glacier? Hell yeah we are buddy! Lloyd attacks at the bell, but Funk no sells and clobbers Lloyd in the neck with a branding iron and gets DQ’d in under 10 seconds! Funk hits a fucking brutal piledriver and makes the cover, WHICH THE REF COUNTS??? He gets his arm raised and brands Lloyd before the ref pulls him out. This was right when Funk beat up Flair and Sting and was an absolute killer.

Terry Funk vs. Steve Casey
Worldwide – July 15, 1989
Funk spat at Casey, who slapped Funk repeatedly until Funk stumbled outside to regroup. That did him good, as Funk beat up Casey ringside and nearly used a chair, but Tommy Young ripped it away. Funk got in the face of the crown and it was funny, as lady who looked like Estelle Getty wanted to start shit, but Funk opted to punch Casey in the ribs instead of dealing with Sophia Petrillo. Fans are throwing trash in the ring at Funk and he jumps out ringside again where an old guy flipped off Funk and FLASHED HIM for some reason! Casey tried to attack, but Funk posted him repeatedly, so much so that Tommy Young disqualified Funk. He didn’t care, as more trash poured down and he broke apart the wooden ring steps and chucked the ring announcer table in the ring. The ringside attendant was nearly brought in the ring with Funk, as the headset chord was caught on the table. The ref stopped Funk from impaling Casey with the table, as youngster Mark Young hit the ring, but got beat up. Then up and comer SCOTT HALL ran to the ring, but turned his back and ate a chair shot to the back. That brings us to…

Terry Funk vs. Scott Hall
Pro - July 29, 1989
This is in Amarillo, so Funk is a hero, despite being a hated villain elsewhere. Early chops lead to Hall being launched outside and Funk soaks in the cheers as Hall jumps back in and throws shots of his own. Bob Caudle talks about how this youngster Hall has a lot of power and has the look, as Funk stumbles into the ropes and gets clotheslined to the floor. Funk takes control outside where he takes off the padding for a piledriver on concrete, but Tommy Young stops in and gets thrown down as a result. Both men get back in the ring and Funk clocks him with a shoulder block, but Hall collapsed on top during a suplex attempt for two. Hall hit his running bulldog and fires up, as he tries it again and connects, but Funk kicked out. Hall now rips off the padding outside, tries a bulldog on the concrete, but Funk slams him down to counter. Back inside, Funk hits his piledriver and gets the three. This was good stuff from both.

Terry Funk vs. Scott Hall
Pro – August 19, 1989
The rematch, as Funk fucking lays it in stiff with his chops and slaps early, as Funk keeps beating Hall down and dares him to get back in the ring, as referee Nick Patrick has to pull Funk off. Funk missed a corner charge and Hall zones in on the arm of Funk until Funk is able to hit a back suplex and send Hall over the top outside. Every time Funk throws a left hand, he sells it after the damage Hall had done, as back inside Funk hit multiple neckbreakers. Funk wanted a piledriver, but Hall back dropped him over the top and hit a running bulldog back inside for two. Hall hooked a headlock, but Funk rolled him over and Gary Hart held onto his feet for leverage and that was the pin. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that finish before, as post match, Funk bodyslammed Funk over the top, but Funk jumped back in and clocked Hall with the branding iron.

Terry Funk vs. Lee Scott
Worldwide – August 26, 1989
Scott grabbed Funk’s hat and mocked him, as Funk just fucked Scott’s shit up as a result. Scott tried one dropkick, but Funk no sold, hit a lariat and piledriver for the quick win. Jim Ross said you don’t tug on Superman’s cape and that’s what Scott did.

Terry Funk vs. Lee Scott
Pro – October 28, 1989
Can Scott survive longer than last time? Well, Scott slapped Funk in the face and bailed outside, where he was tripped up by Gary Hart ringside. The chase was on back inside, as Scott tried to blow up Funk, before grabbing a headlock. Funk just escaped and violently threw Scott outside where he hit a piledriver on the floor. Funk tossed him back inside, hit a knee drop and got the win. The fucking balls on Lee Scott these two matches.

Terry Funk vs. Brian Pillman
Pro – July 16, 1994
Vintage Funker with opening chops and chucking Pillman to the outside where Pillman fired up and did the same thing in return to Funk, who had to regroup. Funk grinded Pillman down with a headlock before once again going to the floor, where he hit a piledriver. DDT back in the ring before to the floor where Funk wanted another piledriver, only this time Pillman got a back drop and piledriver of his own. For some reason Funk started ramming his own head into the ring steps, so Pillman helped him out doing it for him before hitting a second piledriver on the floor. Pillman tried to suplex Funk from the ring to the floor, but Funk attempted to skin the cat, not getting all of it, instead just stumbling to the floor. Inside, Funk fought for and successfully hit a vertical suplex before the match kind of fell apart. Pillman tried a drop down and Funk tripped over him and was stumbling around before both just collided awkwardly. Pillman connected with Air Pillman once, but as he went for it again, Bunkhouse Buck hit the ring for the DQ, as Dustin Rhodes & Arn Anderson (who hadn’t turned on Dustin yet) made the save, chasing Funk, Parker, Buck & Meng to the back. A very clunky, but fun match, with a shitty finish.

Terry Funk & Bunkhouse Buck vs. Joey Maggs & Todd Morton
Saturday Night – July 30, 1994
Maggs & Morton avoided the early onslaught to take the fight to Buck and Morton clumsily hit a dropkick on Funk to the outside. Funk was stumbling around ringside and just ran into Maggs, who bumped for some reason before a proper clothesline from Funk did damage. Funk lit up Morton with a few punches, clubbing blows and pulling piledriver before Buck jumped back in and hit the hard right hand to win it. Maggs did barely anything in this match, as he was just chillin ringside selling one clothesline.

Terry Funk & Bunkhouse Buck vs. Erik Watts & Barry Houston
Worldwide – August 20, 1994
Zero clue Watts was still puttering about in WCW at this time, as this was outside of MGM I believe. Houston & Watts got the early jump on Buck, but Funk threw a trash can in the ring and tried a moonsault onto Watts with it, but Watts missed and Funk crashed and burned. Watts hit a DDT for two, as Houston flew in with a double axe handle. Funk just got up and was done selling, as he clubbed away at Houston inside the ring and out, hitting a piledriver on the asphalt. Back inside, Funk hit a superplex out of the corner before Buck made the tag, picked up the pieces and laid out Houston with a big right hand for the win as Watts just stood there. Funk made sure to pop him with the branding iron, while Houston was hogtied and branded right in the tramp stamp position, which Funk should’ve done more.

Terry Funk, Arn Anderson & Bunkhouse Buck vs. Todd Morton, Joey Maggs & Barry Houston
Saturday Night – September 10, 1994
Houston was able to get the best of Arn early, which allowed him to regroup with Col. Parker outside before beating up Morton when he returned. Funker tagged in and hit a perfect double arm underhook suplex, but Morton countered a second one into a backslide for two. Maggs & Houston made fast tags, but Houston was absolutely launched to the floor and sent into the edge of the ring before Funk hit a back drop on the hard floor. Morton for some reason jumped in and fucked around with Funk when he wasn’t supposed to and lucky for him, Funk just ignored him and hit a piledriver on Houston. Arn tagged in and hit a DDT, popped Maggs on the apron and kicked Morton in the dick for good measure before getting the pin. Buck literally did nothing this match, nor did he have to.

Terry Funk vs. Dustin Rhodes
Pro – September 17, 1994
I just felt like adding the great gif. Meng & Col. Parker are with Funk here to outnumber Rhodes, who wanted a slugfest early, but settled for a lock up, which was weird considering how much Funk & company did to Dustin in recent months. Blacktop Bully is sitting ringside heckling Rhodes, as this was Barry Darsow for those who forgot. Rhodes battled back on Funk, crotching him in the ropes and taking the fight ringside. Funk ran through the crowd before Rhodes caught up and sent him into the ring after an atomic drop. Rhodes hit a piledriver, but both men collided in the center of the ring for the reset. Funk hit a bodyslam, Rhodes rolled to the outside and Funk hit a springing crossbody and both men are down. They just beat the count as Rhodes starts firing up with a lariat and hit the bulldog, but Arn Anderson & Bunkhouse Buck sprint in for the DQ. The Nastys are soon to follow and chase the heels off to stand tall with Dustin. This was around War Games, which was the following night as Funk got into it with a little kid ringside, which was great post match.

Chainsaw Charlie & Cactus Jack vs. The Quebecers
RAW – March 9, 1998
Here’s a shocker, a brawl started it out until Jacques & Pierre took over on Funk for some early double teaming. PCO & Mountie took turns picking Funk apart, slamming him into the announce table, as Cactus tried to make the save, but Jimmy Korderas had to hold him off, allowing more double teaming. PCO finally missed an elbow off the second, as Funk did a somersault roll and tagged Cactus for the hot tag. Cactus ran wild until the match broke down and Funk missed a moonsault on Jacques. PCO however, hit a corner hurricanrana on Cactus for a close two. Quebecers demanded it was three, but a missed corner charge allowed Cactus to hit PCO with a double arm DDT for the win.

Cactus Jack & Chainsaw Charlie vs. New Age Outlaws – Steel Cage Match
RAW – March 30, 1998
Rematch from Wrestlemania 14 the previous night where Cactus & Funk won the tag titles in a Dumpster Match. Gunn was suplexed and hung upside down on the cage, which allowed Cactus & Funk to hit running attacks. Gunn got free and backdropped Cactus into the cage, as Funk was slammed face first into the steel. Funk tried fighting off both Outlaws, but was choked out with wrist tape while Gunn hit the Fame-Asser on Cactus. Funk was tied to the cage by his neck and I always thought he was handcuffed, but it just looks weird, since Funk could easily get free. Cactus hit a double DDT on the Outlaws and chucked them into the cage before climbing up. Triple H, X-Pac & Chyna hit the ring with chairs and clocked Cactus with hard shots. For some reason Chyna distracted the ref to allow this, despite it being a cage match. The Outlaws hit a spike piledriver on a chair, as Road Dogg did the worm into a pin to win the titles. DX 2.0 has formed and it all happened in like 4 minutes, which I always thought this match went longer.

Terry Funk & Too Cold Scorpio vs. The Quebecers
RAW – April 13, 1998
Pre-match, Funk announces his new partner, someone who never had a chance thanks to Vince McMahon, but he will get one thanks to Terry Funk. The former Flash Funk walks out and commentary struggle to just call him Too Cold Scorpio, as JR said “well, he looks Too Cold to me” and Michael Cole said is he “Too Cold Funk?”. PCO & Jacques attack Funk out the gate until Scorpio is a house of fire and finally JR just calls him Too Cold Scorpio as PCO hit a massive avalanche belly to belly. The Quebecers nearly murder Scorpio with a double stun gun, as they tried their double team flipping senton, but missed, as Scorpio hits the 450 Splash to get the quick win. Michael Cole’s inability to call him Too Cold Scorpio was hilarious. JR said it’s about time Scorpio is pushed to his potential and held down too long. Yeah, aside from the JOB Squad, they still didn’t do anything with him unfortunately.

Terry Funk vs. Mark Henry
RAW – June 1, 1998
What a King of the Ring qualifying match this is a massive contrast of styles here. Funk hit early chops and neckbreaker for two, then tried another one, only to mule kick Henry. Vince is on commentary with JR & King and they’re talking more about Kane, Undertaker & Austin than the match. Henry took over using his power, as Funk tried a springing cross body to the floor, but Henry caught him and posted Funk. We get a reverse whip into the steps and Henry did a comically hilarious sell as Funk hit a massive unprotected chair shot, as referee Tim White just decided to take a stroll and not watch it. Funk decided an Asaai moonsault, but his legs smacked the railing really hard, barely clipping the 400 pounder. Back inside, both men collide, with Funk bumping and Henry hitting a huge splash for two. After a bodyslam and leg drop, Funk nearly got a small package, but Henry got up, hit a huge powerbomb and another splash for the win.

Terry Funk & Dustin Rhodes vs. The New Age Outlaws
Shotgun – July 4, 1998
We get JR & Corny on commentary as Terry was fresh off getting chokeslammed out of his shoes by Undertaker at King of the Ring, while Dustin is in his “praying” gimmick. Funk & Rhodes double team and work the arm of Dogg early until Gunn gets launched into the barricade outside. JR said Funk just celebrated his 54th birthday, as Gunn dropped him gut first on the railing. Back inside, Funk stumbled into a tag to Dustin, who proceeds to be isolated for three straight minutes before Funk jumps back in slugging at anything that moves. Dustin & Gunn fall to the outside as Funk starts doing crotch chops and suck its until Chyna jumps in the ring and hits a low blow. Hebner DQ’s the Outlaws, as Dustin asks Chyna to repent, but she low blows him as well. I mean, The Outlaws stood tall, but Funk & Rhodes technically won this. The image of Terry doing crotch chops was amazing.

Terry Funk & Bradshaw vs. Too Much
Shotgun – July 25, 1998
I’m sticking with the Funk stuff in this match and skipping the Bradshaw bullshit as Funk dropped Christopher with a DDT and sent him flying outside repeatedly like he’s chucking out garbage. A neckbreaker back inside got two, as Taylor broke it up and made the tag. Taylor tried firing up, but Funk hit another DDT for two. Funk did the Oklahoma Roll, as Christopher couldn’t break it up at first, but got the eye rake. JR made a Leroy McGuirk reference, as Funk ducked a double clothesline and dropped Too Much with one of his own. Funk clotheslined Christopher to the floor, as Bradshaw leveled Taylor with a lariat to get the win. JR said there is a lot of potential with this team, but they broke up literally the next night at Break Down.

Terry Funk vs. Bret Hart
Thunder – January 6, 2000
Take away the brief little run of “matches” in WWE 10 years later; this was technically Bret’s last match in his career. Funk chucked some chairs in the ring to start, but Hart clocked him with a baseball bat in return. After some shots to the ribs with a chair and unprotected chair shot, which Funk returned the favor and Bret tried to get his hands up. Bret was tossed into a laundry basket and dumped over, landing on his head before Funk chucked more weapons in the ring and missed a moonsault on top of a trash can. Bret waffles Funk in the head with a chair and Pillmanized the ankle by hitting his elbow off the second rope. Bret laid out referee Charles Robinson as we saw a beaten up Arn Anderson trying to put on a ref shirt backstage, but is stopped by David Flair, who puts the shirt on instead. Flair locked Arn in the locker room and back to the ring we see Bret & Funk down until the NWO runs out and lays out Funk some more. The match kept getting dumber, as David Flair showed up and was beaten up while Funk was powerbombed off the stage by Kevin Nash to end the show. You know, because Funk fought Nash at the PPV for control of WCW, that’s where they were at during this time. WCW sucked ass. This match is kind of uncomfortable to watch knowing the damage that not only had been done to Bret by Goldberg and that kick at Starrcade, but the concussions already piled up for Bret at this point.

Terry Funk vs. Vampiro
Nitro – May 29, 2000
Vamp drove a gasoline tanker truck to the arena, that should be noted. Funk immediately hit a piledriver on the stage, as he got a two count, so Funk beat up the ref. Vampiro hit the Nail in the Coffin for two, then hit one on the ref as well. Vamp demanded they hit his pyro and try to hit Funk with it, but it’s WCW, so thankfully they fucked it up. They brawled backstage into the gorilla position and Vampiro attacked backstage folks like Ed Ferrara, which makes Vamp a forever babyface in my book. Funk & Vamp spill outside of the arena, where Funk shot puts a coffee maker at Vamp’s head, but he ducked. Like 12 folks are just sitting and watching, as Vamp scares them away and keeps chucking weapons at Funk. They tried going into the video truck and Scott Hudson yelled “Darryl, wake up!” as Funk chucked Vamp off the steps through a table. Funk & Vamp fought towards that gas truck and slammed each other into the side of it before Vamp pulls out a hose and sprays “gasoline” over Funk until Sting runs out from behind the truck and fights off Vamp. Sting tried to shut off the gas as Vampiro ran to get his lighter, but had to be taken away by security as Sting ran off with Funk. Such a cluster fuck, even for WCW.

Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido
Thunder – May 31, 2000
Candido came out dressed like Funk and immediately was fought backstage by the Funker with Schiavone, Tenay & Heenan left vamping until cameras were backstage to see Funk beating the shit out of Candido before being tossed in the back of a pickup truck and driven away with the referee chasing after them. Literally after 15 seconds, we see the car pulling up to a horse ranch and the stables. Candido threw a trash can shot right after Funk got out of the driver seat and they brawled by bales of hay and a table conveniently set up. Candido drowns Funk in a horse trough and into a wheelbarrow of horse shit. They enter the stables and yes, this is where Terry Funk piledrove Candido next to a horse, WHO KICKED TERRY FUNK! Funk wanted to fight the horse, but instead, Candido hit a low blow and set up Funk on the table. Candido tried to leap off the stable, but Funk pulled him back through the table. The referee appeared out of nowhere and Funk just clocked him with a trash can. Funk tried a cover, but there was no ref, so he dumped a bucket of nasty water on him to revive and get the three count. One of the most infamous matches in WCW history and I loved it so much.